satire - Page 2

Sharples Introduces New “Squirrel Bar”

Students eating lunch at Sharples on November 26th were greeted by an unfamiliar friendly smile, beaming from a small squirrel who had positioned himself comfortably behind the radiator near the back entrance to the building. Peeping his head out from his alcove,
December 5, 2019

Investigating the Cunningham Fire: Part 3 of 3

Nearly two months have passed since the Cunningham Fire ravaged Swarthmore’s most beloved frisbee practice field on September 21, 2019. The field has remained barren and fallow in the time since the flames overtook the soft, manicured grass. Students walking past it
November 14, 2019

Swing Tree Conspiracy Part 1: Suspicion

Over the 2019 summer, tragedy struck Swarthmore’s campus as it never has before. Going to school at an arboretum, each and every Swarthmore student feels intrinsically connected with the trees and plants around them, which made the summer storm all the more
November 14, 2019

Best Places to Poop at Swarthmore

Models: Daisy Lee ‘22, Grace Griego ‘22, Dakota Gibbs ‘19 Listen, we’ve all been there. You’re in seminar and you know you are NOT going to make it back to ML in time. Where do you go? I’ve got you covered. For
November 14, 2019

Investigating the Cunningham Fire: Part 1 of ??

Note: this is satire (or is it??) On Saturday, September 21, in a campus-wide text message alert, Public Safety warned Swarthmore students of a fire raging on the grassy plain known as Cunningham Field. Pub Safe could not identify the source of
September 26, 2019

College Moves Phi Psi and DU to BEP

After the nearly week-long Coalition Against Fraternity Violence sit-in garnered widespread news attention and galvanized the campus and the nation, Phi Psi and DU announced on the evening of Tuesday, April 30, their decision to disband. President Smith, in an email to
May 2, 2019
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