For incoming first years, living on campus in a residence hall is always nerve-racking. Leaving the comforts of home to move into a cramped, messy double with a stranger can be daunting, but luckily, Swarthmore generously offers a myriad of choices for first-year housing. Some residence halls are better than expected, and others make you wonder if you should just rethink this whole “college” idea. From Willets to Dana, here are the best and worst options for first years. The list will cover what the residence halls have to offer and what they would be like as friends.
Danawell, Not To Be Confused With The AC-Less Dana
Though this dorm has much to offer, Danawell is one of the further residence halls on campus, a stone’s throw away from Wharton. It’s one of the few halls with air conditioning, and the lounge contains a foosball table and a mini TV. Although I haven’t met anyone from Danawell, rumor has it that its residents aren’t fond of inviting outsiders into their luxurious space. A nice benefit of living in Danawell is not worrying about the Freshman Fifteen because they have to walk a mile just to get to class. To make it easier to understand, if Danawell were a person, it would be the friend that constantly mentions how both their parents went to Harvard, they vacation in Cabo, and they have a car inside their house.
David Kemp
David Kemp is mostly riddled with upperclassmen, yet every now and then a few first years get the chance to spend their first year inside this Tetris-shaped building. There isn’t much to say on DK: it’s the second newest of the residence halls, the paint hasn’t started peeling off the walls yet, and there’s room within the hallways to actually stretch out your hands. During their first day at David Kemp, many people are curious about the bold red walls. The rumor? It’s said that the walls were painted with the blood, sweat, and tears of the students who transferred to Williams. David Kemp is the new kid in school who is a nice breath of fresh air to be around.
Parrish Hall
Parrish Hall is the most centrally located dorm in Swarthmore. It’s spacious, historic yet newly renovated, and has a whole floor dedicated to a lounge space. Parrish also has its own ping-pong table, piano room, and drawing room. Unfortunately, Parrish would be higher on the list if residents didn’t have to share their living space with administration. The disadvantage of living in Parrish is that their laundry room is located in the basement, which reeks of possible asbestos and mildew. Parrish is a decent friend, but snitches on you to his parents often.
Wharton Hall
As I took in the exterior of Wharton, I thought to myself, “This is not Hogwarts. Why did the campus brochure lie?” Wharton Hall is a decent living space: it’s right near the Matchbox and not too far from classes or the Dining Center. Wharton loses points for having no air conditioning, rodents the size of a human head, broken showers, and a homicide in the ’60s. In my opinion, Wharton is the type of person in high school who looks really hot from far away, but a closer look reveals that they’re not all that.
Willets Hall
Willets is where most first years reside. It’s a great space to make friends as they have weekend dinners, game nights, and movie nights. Let’s just hope you don’t end up in the basement of Willets — they say it was originally a psych ward for Swarthmore students who lost their minds! Willets is the friend in high school that you talk to during classes and wave to in the hallways, but never make an effort to get closer with.
Dana Hall
A fortress rebranded as a residence hall. Brutalist architecture built to withstand riots. My friend claims he’s seen the twin sisters from “The Shining” in the hallways during the night. You should just probably commute to school if placed in Dana. Think back to high school, do you remember the one person that you actively tried to avoid? Dana is that person.
Each of the residence halls mentioned above provide an individualized experience for their residents, and none are a bad choice for your first year here at Swarthmore. Unless it’s Dana. Seriously, pray you don’t get placed in Dana.
