Envisioning my first year as a college student, I dreamed of going to parties, attending intense sports games, and spending late nights cramming for midterms. When I committed to Swarthmore, I knew I’d have to settle for just the last one.
After making it through my first month at Swarthmore, I can proudly admit that I only thought about transferring three times: after taking my first communal shower, surviving BratMore, and flunking my psychology midterm. But, each time, I reminded myself that things would get better. And, for the most part, they have! Even so, like most first years, I’ve managed to embarrass myself and annoy the upperclassmen in countless ways — moments where I’ve found myself saying “I swear it’s not usually like this.”
The first time those special words were uttered was actually by my roommate. I still remember the night — it was cold, dark, and apple-crisp. My roommate walked in, shivering, and blurted, “An upperclassman walked in on me showering…” As the story goes, he had just finished showering, turned off the faucet, and was drying himself off. The upperclassman, assuming the stall was empty, flung the door open. Let’s just say Christmas came a little early for her. My roommate, suffering from PSFD (Post Shower Flash Disorder), learned his lesson and now only showers between the hours of 3 and 5 a.m. I can’t really blame him — it really wasn’t his fault.
It’s harder to make that case for me, though. As human beings, we all experience late-night cravings from time to time. For me, it hit at 2:30 a.m. on a Thursday night. The problem was that there was nothing to eat except for the Buldak ramen I had brought from back home. After running through a hypothetical scenario where I’d wake my roommates up while cooking ramen and incur their wrath, I decided that “That’ll never happen.” So, I tiptoed to my shelf, grabbed a Buldak bowl, and made my way to the Wharton lounge where the microwave was.
The next obstacle was figuring out what liquid to use. My water bottle was empty, and the fountain on our floor was broken that day. The best substitute I could find was an Arizona Iced Tea can. There I was, pouring lemon-flavored iced tea into a ramen bowl and microwaving it, salivating at the thought of how good it would taste. All that remained was the walk back to my room to eat, and that’s when it happened.
Remember how, as little kids, we’re told not to cross the street while on our phones? Well, I didn’t heed that warning because I thought it was fine to carry the bowl in one hand and doom-scroll on TikTok with the other — right up until the moment I bumped into one of my hallmates and spilled the steaming Arizona broth all over his sweater.
“I’m so sorry! I don’t know what happened,” I said as he winced in pain.
“It’s fine; I was going to take a shower anyway.” In my own defense, I was watching the infamous TikTok of NicoAvocado revealing that he was always two steps ahead. In the end, everything worked out fine — except that I went to bed hungry and the water probably left burn marks on his skin.
While I could easily share more embarrassing moments from our first semester here, I think it’s best to wrap this up with a quick flash round instead.
If you’re wondering why the Parrish elevator has been broken the past few weeks, that’s — allegedly — because a couple of my friends were really enjoying the water they were drinking that Friday night. The condom shortage in Parrish is also because they’ve run out in Willets and first years are being forced to steal them from other residence halls.
Although, as much as I’ve ridiculed my class, it would be wrong to not turn the spotlight to upperclassmen and talk about the strange things they’ve done. Dear upperclassmen, your love life failing doesn’t justify masquerading as a first year to get matched with someone on the Marriage Pact. Also, the food at Sci Cafe is not all that. You don’t have to speed walk to the beginning of the door ten minutes before 9 p.m. to stand there and spend five minutes deciding between three available options.
I could go on and on about the immaturity of the upperclassmen, but I don’t want to turn three-fourths of the school into my enemy, so I’d like to close out with a thank you to all the upperclassmen for tolerating us. We’re not really that bad, and the mistakes we’ve made were just heat-of-the-moment moments, not indicative of how we actually behave. This is a classic example of the Fundamental Attribution Error, as my editor, who’s a psych major, explains to me. In short, we’re sorry — just a little — but please don’t avoid us!
Your reflection on your first year at Swarthmore is hilarious and incredibly relatable. It captures the ups and downs of freshman life, from the awkward moments to the mistakes that, while embarrassing in the moment, later become funny stories to tell. Your humor and self-awareness really shine through, especially in the way you balance poking fun at yourself and the upperclassmen. It’s nice to see the sense of community you’re building, despite those embarrassing missteps—like spilling ramen broth and awkward encounters. As you said, those moments are just part of the experience and definitely make for some unforgettable memories. Here’s to more growth, laughter, and ramen adventures (hopefully with less spillage) as you continue your journey!