Although many people on this campus know me to be a bundle of joy, those who are closest to me are well aware of my larger-than-ideal hater count. It is a very unfortunate circumstance that, to be clear, I do not intend to rectify. My time at Swarthmore has dealt me pretty unfortunate cards; from roommate debacles to birthday scandals to cheating rumors, I’ve been at the center of all the drama you can imagine. Now, with a blocked list longer than my close friends, I can still humbly say I live without regret.
One might expect that having an entourage of haters would make one’s life rather miserable. It is quite the contrary in reality; I’ve found the hate to have played an integral role in becoming the person I am today. Now, as a senior, I figured it is my responsibility to detail my three-part model of coping with campus hate. This model, which I tentatively call the Three As of Hate, includes three stages: acquisition, adaptation, and acceptance.
Below, I will go into meticulous detail on the model which I have derived from three arduous years of lived experience in the most turbulent of environments: Swarthmore College. Following this explanation, I will give some useful tips you can employ during your time at Swarthmore to minimize the hate and maximize the love.
- Acquisition
In the first stage of this model, the target of hate will begin to feel the weight of their (usually) inconsequential actions materialize into vicious rumors that quickly spread around campus. It is key to note that the more trivial the action, the faster it spreads throughout the campus’s intertwined social networks. Also important to note: the hate may be first noticed in either implicit or explicit cues. In the case of the former, the target may begin to notice ghastly glares, the furrowing of brows, or even the bowing of heads. As for the latter, the target may experience an unnecessarily hostile confrontation in which no progress is ever made.
- Adaptation
The second stage is characterized by the often-slow experience of grappling with the antagonizing slights that often accompany Swatties’ herd-like mentality. This seemingly interminable stage may lead the target to avoid social environments altogether, in favor of more secluded locations such as their dorm, McCabe basement, or the inner belly of the Crum Woods. While in this stage, it is important that the target seek out external sources of support such as CAPS, parasocial relationships, or even the soft touch of grass to maintain their well-being and sense of reality.
- Acceptance
The ultimate stage involves the internalization of hate into one’s identity. By this point, targets such as myself will begin to return to normal life as a new, more formidable person. Their avoidant behavior will begin to undergo extinction as they return to their normal study, party, or work environments. While they may give reference to the hateful events, their verbiage will become less tangential and their heads will no longer hang low as they navigate campus. In some notable cases, targets have even retaliated with furrowed brows of their own. If ever in this position, it is important to stay strong and not be tempted by attempts to regain trust. Haters always gon’ hate.
These experiences are derived from my cold, hard-lived experiences that involve a number of haters that can hardly be counted on two hands. While my in-depth discussions with other Swatties have revealed a similar course, the duration and intensity of these experiences vary greatly from victim to victim.
If you are currently targeted by Swarthmore Hate, it is advisable that you remain calm and collected. In 99% of the cases I’ve been involved in and consulted for, I’ve walked away with one conclusion about the events that lead to Swarthmore hate: they’re never that real. Just think back to when Khloé Kardashian said to Kim, “there’s people that are dying.” So if you ever feel targeted by hate, just remember hate is spelled with three As and although I am not a Swiftie, I must affirm her playful words of advice: just “shake it off.”
