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Nagyon Kim

Swarthmore treats admitted students like royalty

In desperate hopes to lure admitted prospective students into matriculating to Swarthmore, the administration sent out strict orders to the students, faculty, and staff—especially the dining staff—prior to Swatstruck, instructing them to show their best performance and be on their best behavior.
April 27, 2017

Sharples voted as the best restaurant on campus

For the 53rd year, Sharples Dining Hall won the Best Cafeteria Award on Swarthmore’s campus. From food quality to sanitation, Sharples won first place in every category of judgment, easily beating out its competitors, a streak that has not been broken since
March 23, 2017

Swarthmore freezes dormitories to save energy

To keep up with Swarthmore’s commitment to being green and eco-friendly, Swarthmore announced Tuesday that it will leave dormitories without heating outside of the facilities department’s office hours. This announcement follows its declaration of Operation Cold War, which turned off hot waters
February 16, 2017

Swarthmore forces students to take cold showers

As part of the overall goal to prepare students for the real world, the Swarthmore’s Facilities Department, with the approval of the administration, decided to limit the availability of hot water usage for showers and sinks in dormitory restrooms. According to Elsa
December 1, 2016

Anti-Trump supporters start colony in Antarctica

Feeling absolutely disgusted and worn out over the results of the presidential election on Nov. 8, several Hillary Clinton supporters started a new nation in Antarctica to avoid having to live under the reign of President-elect Donald Trump. This move, initiated by
November 17, 2016

Trump supporters call to repeal Bill of Rights

In a desperate attempt to damage 2016 Democratic Presidential Nominee Hillary Clinton’s reputation, supporters and campaign affiliates of Donald Trump, the Republican presidential nominee, started a movement to edit, revise, add, and strike out the majority of the clauses in the Bill
October 20, 2016

Administration refuses requests for dorms to be renovated

After 76 students stood in protest in front of Parrish Hall demanding renovation of various dormitories across campus, the administration dismissed the requests as “unnecessary” changes that require “no attention at all.” This announcement comes after a “surprise” announcement that the Intercultural
September 29, 2016

Supreme Court permanently bans Swarthmore parties

After the Swarthmore Borough Police shut down every party on campus since the First Party, the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania issued a permanent ban on parties—wet and dry—on Swarthmore College’s campus. In a statement to the Phoenix on Friday, the Court declared
September 15, 2016
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