If you have taken Introduction to Psychology, you would know Swarthmore is the birthplace of the infamous Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), an early-20th century personality assessment that many people, and some Fortune 500 companies, swear by to this day.
You might also know that personality assessments like the MBTI have had little to no success in overcoming the replication crisis that hit psychology back in the early 2010s, bummer! There is just something so satisfying about being placed within a neatly categorized box that assigns you purpose and meaning in this chaotic world.
One of the many big issues with these personality assessments is that they simply don’t take into account that people change across situations. It can be unsettling to think about, but the situations we place ourselves in can have a pronounced influence on our self perceptions.
Well then, what personalities or tropes arise in a small and contained environment like that of Swarthmore? Almost all students reside in the same dorms and choose from the same dining options. Even the classes are all, for no good reason, similarly difficult. Perhaps even more unsettling to think about, we inhabit an intriguingly unvarying environment which might just allow for a reliable assessment of character.
As the Chief Aspiring Social Psychologist of The Phoenix, I have taken it upon myself to develop the most prominent groupings of students’ personalities. Like the Myers-Briggs, my modern Swarthmore-specific personality framework contains four pairs of attributes: (a)ctive/(l)aid-back speaks to one’s physical activity and approach to tackling problems; (v)ogue/(m)odest speaks to one’s self-presentation; (p)oised/(h)esitant speaks to how highly one regards themself; and (i)nfluential/(u)nderground speaks to the breadth of one’s connections.
Based on these four dimensions, I propose the following sixteen tropes of modern Swatties:
The A-List (AVPI):
For one reason or another, these characters chose to attend the quaint Swarthmore College over a more fitting Ivy League. Who knows why, but the rest of us find their presence to be bittersweet. While their put-together style is refreshing at a place like Swat, their presence is a breeding ground for negative social comparison and envy. These characters are ephemeral and are infrequently spotted around campus, but you might just find them in a foreign language class or taking obnoxious pictures in the midst of an Olde Club party.
The Eye Candy (AVPU):
This type seems to have everything going for them, that is, until they open their mouths to play devil’s advocate for the one topic everyone else seemed to agree upon. It’s best to just tune them out as they spew their senseless tirade and value them for what good they have to offer. Alternatively, this character might just be admiring themselves in the mirror a little too much, but so are we! This character can most frequently be found in the political science department, but can also be spotted passionately reading Kant in Cornell (or anywhere that they can see their reflection in the glass).
The Jock (AVHI):
This stoic personality type embodies all qualities of an All-American athlete, except they’re at a DIII school. Be they a gym rat, athlete, or club leader, these characters’ tough personalities contrast that of your typical Swattie and their cool, demanding demeanors are just as jarring. Perhaps overcompensating for some other less-than-desirable feature, these students are guarded and it often takes great lengths to get to truly know them. However, once you get to know them, you realize they’re just as awkward and nerdy as every other Swattie on campus. You can find this character in several places: the Matchbox, the economics department, flexing in a bathroom mirror, or, actually, really just anywhere except their group project meeting.
The Show-off (AVHU):
This sometimes-too-persistent type can find it difficult not to be the center of attention. Be it through wit, rebellion, and/or obnoxiously flexing their wealth, these characters somehow manage to continuously find creative ways to gain the attention they will inevitably lose. This character is spotted nine times out of ten in Singer Hall where they are either studying, mansplaining, or bragging about their score on the MCAT.
The People’s Prince/ss (AMPI):
This down-to-earth figure makes the chaos of Swarthmore a bearable experience. While they have all the potential to be among the A-list, their modest nature makes them easy to relate to and divulge any secret, no matter its depth. Though few and far between, this individual is a hallmark of the Swarthmore experience, and we each owe them our sanity. Sprinkled across sports teams or dance troupes, even just the sight of these characters warms everyones’ hearts.
The Underdog (AMPU):
Endlessly waiting for their opportunity to outshine us all, people of this trope unwillingly fly under the radar of most. These characters constantly engage in social comparison and as a result feel outshined by their impossibly talented peers. While they never seem to make it quite to that number-one spot, they annoyingly make it their personality to convince you they did. These characters can often be found in the philosophy department and often appear right when they aren’t needed.
The Rising Star (AMHI):
Still searching for their potential, this character holds a lot of potential for future success, but they have yet to realize it. Patiently waiting for their time to shine, this type is destined to take the reins and carry on the legacy of their most cherished peer role models. This character is most pronounced in a variety of intro classes, where they frequently raise their hands timidly and laugh a little too hard at professors’ convoluted jokes.
The Benchwarmer (AMHU):
This Swattie makes the effort to put themselves out there, but isn’t always well received. If this is you, don’t worry about it; it’s always enough just to say you tried. One day you’ll get ’em, tiger! They might be sitting on the sidelines of games or struggling to make a good impression during their consulting internship but just you wait, they’ll post on LinkedIn one day and impress us all.
The Micro-influencer (LVPI):
This rare personality is hardly spotted around campus, but, if you are able to, it will likely be at the post office where they’re picking up a PR package. If not there, perhaps you’ll catch them reading Jane Austen in a comfy Cornell chair overlooking the Crum. Having chosen Swarthmore for its scenery, they can feel and seem disconnected from the cringeworthy awkwardness of their peers. Nevertheless, if you are lucky enough to get to know one of these personalities, you’ll be quick to fall in love with their ability to reconfigure the traditional quirks into a vogue and marketable Swat personality.
The Mystic (LVPU):
If you’re lucky, you have seen them speak once or twice, but this mysterious archetype is hardly spotted in social spaces around campus. Likely a vegan, tarot card reader, classics major, or devout astrologer, these characters are the most alluring of Swatties. Preferring the solemnity and solitude of McCabe, an interaction with this archetype comes only on a blue moon. Once you get to know these characters, you’ll find their insight into the inner workings of the universe to be quite intriguing whether you believe it or not.
The Mean Girl (LVHI):
Thought we were out of high school? Not with this infamous Swarthmore trope. With more than enough charm to make up for their self-doubt, they get away with more than some are able to and way more than most are willing to. Often pre-law majors in the social sciences, these characters can be spotted surfing the internet in class for the newest fast fashion trend. Every once in a while, they will spontaneously intervene in class discussion to recite hardly relevant woke takes that they bookmarked on Twitter the night before.
The Perfectionist (LVHU):
Look away when this character pulls out their G-Cal! While they often attempt to display a calm and collected facade, a small deviation from their plans can lead this Swattie to derail and burst into tears. Their notes look like Van Gogh and their outfits are taken straight from Pinterest, but their need for perfection can be debilitating, even for those around them. Having entered college on the pre-med track, these students now chase professorhood, as they’re often found chatting up their environmental studies or anthropology professor in office hours.
The Gossip (LMPI)
This character makes quite a pleasurable time out of Swarthmore’s dull, yet tightly knit, social landscape. They somehow maintain casual relationships with even the most impassive professors and have the spontaneous ability to make everyone laugh, regardless of their mood. You can find this character across campus, chatting with nearly everyone on the way to their psychology class.
The Lone Wolf (LMPU)
Either engineering, math, or physics, equations swirl in the mind of this archetype. Or just as likely, philosophical, historical, or literary critiques make this personality the envy of their peers. When they speak in class, even the professor seems to have gained some new insight into the topic at hand. Though often alone, these individuals are a hot commodity, as their peers tap their intellect for a deeper understanding of the world.
The Dependent (LMHI)
This character is often perceived as jubilant and one who can do no harm, but proceed with caution! Intrinsically low on the social totem pole, these characters must go to great lengths to maintain their social stance. It takes a little twisting of the arm by someone like a Mean Girl for this character to do not the best things. While they may seem to have good intentions in their heart, their malleability to social influence and tendency to people-please places them as a rogue threat that necessitates great caution.
The Wallflower (LMHU):
Many wonder about this archetype as they sit quietly in class and diligently study outside of it. Sprinkled across mostly STEM disciplines, the only way to get to know this character is through group projects, though they are reluctant to share much about themselves. Still, they make occasional appearances within clubs or even, occasionally, at a party. Mostly people-watching, these individuals find their peers to be a great source of amusement, observing as they partake in seemingly nonsensical social engagements.
Not sure which Swattie you are? No worries: you can take a Swarthmore-specific quiz to determine the trope that best fits your personality.
