April 2017 - Page 14 of 14

April Fools 2017

Entire Swarthmore Endowment Moves to University of Denver

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG. Last night,

April 1, 2017

April Fools 2017

“Parrish Wanker” Caught by Pubsafe, Actually Just Studying

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG. On Friday

April 1, 2017

April Fools 2017

Swarthmore Introduces Money Major

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG. Today is

April 1, 2017

April Fools 2017

College Prioritizes “Bougie” Applicants as Canada Geese Soar

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG. Vice-President of

April 1, 2017

April Fools 2017

Daily Gazette to Be Renamed “Divestment Gazette”

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG. The editorial

April 1, 2017

April Fools 2017

Citing Investment Policy, Swarthmore Reinvests in Apartheid

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG. Last night,

April 1, 2017

April Fools 2017

College to Force Every Willets Resident to Pay for Stolen Weed

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG. On March

April 1, 2017

April Fools 2017

Student Expresses Opinion—Some Agree, Others Don’t

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG. The Swarthmore

April 1, 2017

Breaking News·News

BREAKING: SWARTHMORE DIVESTS FROM STUDENT VOICES

In a stunning turn of events, the Board of Managers of Swarthmore College made the decision last weekend to completely divest from the concerns of the college community and invest the college’s entire multi-billion dollar endowment in the rubber duck industry. The

April 1, 2017

April 2017 - Page 14

Entire Swarthmore Endowment Moves to University of Denver

“Parrish Wanker” Caught by Pubsafe, Actually Just Studying

Swarthmore Introduces Money Major

College Prioritizes “Bougie” Applicants as Canada Geese Soar

Daily Gazette to Be Renamed “Divestment Gazette”

Citing Investment Policy, Swarthmore Reinvests in Apartheid

College to Force Every Willets Resident to Pay for Stolen Weed

Student Expresses Opinion—Some Agree, Others Don’t

BREAKING: SWARTHMORE DIVESTS FROM STUDENT VOICES

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April 2017 - Page 14

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