Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.
Didn’t have time to finish reading The Daily Gazette’s 2014 April Fools’ Day issue? Here’s a list of our articles:
Class of 2018 Facebook Group Fosters Friend Group that Will Surely Survive Orientation Week
Beautiful, Talented Gazette Editors Abandon Journalistic Integrity
Investigative Report: Where are All the Attractive People?
Junior Sprains Neck After Vigorous Swat Swivel
Hit-and-Run Suspect Finds Safe Haven in “Crum Creek Meander”
Director Mike Hill Fires all of PubSafe, Declares Himself “The Law”
Following Recommendations, College to be Renamed “Margolis Healy University”
Sharples Deep-Fries Chicken in Student Tears
Jim Bock ‘90: I AM the Admissions Mistake.
Orientation Week Activity Includes “Find the Hit and Run Suspect in the Crum”
Majority of Audience Reports Feeling Aroused During RnM Performance
In Effort to Increase Involvement, CamCo Appoints Every Student Co-President
Student Goes to Theater Department Show Expecting Nudity, Leaves Disappointed
New Policy Requires Birth Certificates to Enter Parties
George/West Collection to be Made into Direct-to-DVD Drama
Jacob Abendaum ‘14 Postpones 2014 Graduation in Order to Remain SBC Chair
Robert George and Cornel West Revealed to be Lovers
FRAThletes Abandon Corner Table In Favor of Stronger Sense of Community
