April 2005 - Page 4

The ubiquitous Mr. Ethan Ucker '07 continues to astound the Swarthmore community. It was announced this week that Ucker has accumulated a couple of apparently prestigious awards: an Oscar, the [...]

Beloved Registrar and Mustache November participant Martin Warner has announced that he will leave Swarthmore next month to join the circus. The fun-loving administrator said that his current position, while [...]

Joe Faleure '90 was permanently barred from attending Swarthmore College reunions and thrown out of the alumni association this week when organizers discovered that he had ended his education after [...]

Swat students, who already have the opportunity to join groups dedicated to stopping genocide, donating bone marrow, and fighting violence in schools, will soon have another organization through which they [...]

Sources to the Gazette report that Joe Brown '06 broke up with his girlfriend of two months on Thursday. "She was just starting to get on my nerves," Joe said [...]

In a startling realization on Wednesday afternoon, Greg Patton '06 discovered that he had been told a lie during orientation, and was in fact not worthwhile. The moment of truth [...]

In an attempt to combat its traditionally dull reputation and to compete with on-campus attractions such as Paces and McCabe, Ville officials unveiled a number of changes that will be [...]

The loud and obnoxious buzzing noise that sounds repeatedly as McCabe library is about to close has tortured hard-working students for centuries. Last night, shortly after the first buzz sounded [...]

The Biology Department will initiate a nation-wide search for a new tenure-track professor next Monday, according to department chair Amy Vollmer. In making the announcement, Vollmer explained "while our current [...]

Last weekend's Sager, always the party of the year, seems to have left a lasting impression on the student body this time. Unusual licentious behavior continues to run rampant, as [...]