Propriety and Other Such Beasts to Slay

We thank you for the roses, the candy hearts, the well-wishes, the twelve-story luxury ocean liners, and the offers of matrimony that followed our last column. Although we cannot reciprocate each and every one of your feverish bids for our hearts (and loins), please know that we wholeheartedly endorse your efforts to worship us. From afar. (Unless you’re that unbelievably hot dude in Sharples. Call. Us.)

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