I Miss Snooki

Summer 2009. The sun is shining, the waves are waving, and Obama is president. The Jersey Shore, as it’s colloquially referred to, is a hotspot for teenagers and youngsters in their twenties searching for a place to relax and spend time with friends and family. While the world is full of turmoil and distress, the Jersey Shore serves as a haven of American flag t-shirt stands, freshly-made funnel cake, and tanning beds. This isn’t just any old shorepoint. This is the birthplace of Snooki. 

When Snooki first came out, she was compared to the likes of Princess Diana, Mother Teresa, and even male figures such as the American Founding Fathers. Yet, despite her generous charity, profound leadership abilities, and warming maternal presence, Snooki is not at all like the others. My favorite thing about Snooki is the orange glow that seemingly comes from within her. Although she has credited this fluorescence to the famous Jersey Shore tanning beds, I believe it’s more than just an external change in skin color. Snooki is warm from the inside out. Her Long Island accent — rich with authenticity — feels like a cuddly hug. Her famous hair bump, rivaling that of Amy Winehouse, holds more love than a grandmother’s heart. Here is a poem I wrote about Snooki:

My favorite person in the world is Snooki.

Not only is she from Jersey, but she also makes a mean cookie.

In the tanning industry, she is no rookie.

While at the night clubs, she enjoys a boogie woogie. 

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