Weekly Horoscopes from Professor Trelawney

professor trelawney

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.

Disclaimer: predictions made by Professor Trelawney herein are subject to change without notice


Mar 21-Apr 19

Try to tackle some short-term projects with quick gratification, Aries. Aim for casual flings and simple organizational fixes, rather than settling in for the long haul.


Apr 20-May 20

A busy week will bring you many opportunities to shine. Don’t be afraid to take risks, Taurus. Go ahead and flirt during Screw Your Roommate or just wing it during a presentation.


May 21-Jun 20

Instead of trying to hurry things along in your love life, take time to assess what you really want in a relationship. You won’t be able to get everything settled by Valentine’s Day, so you might as well do what’s best in the long run.


Jun 21-Jul 22

Major key alert: communication. You have several uneasy situations at play in your life, Cancer. If you want to make things easier this week, you need to be honest and open about how you feel.


Jul 23-Aug 22

This week, your crush will take notice of your bright smile and bubbly personality, Leo. They may even post about it on Yik Yak. Ah, romance.


Aug 23-Sep 22

A Grand Champion steer sold for $210,000 in Texas this weekend. You, however, won’t be putting up with much bull this week.


Sep 23-Oct 22

It’s hard for you to feel at ease when there seems to be nothing to counterbalance the workload from your classes. Extra naps may be in order this week during the cozy winter weather.


Oct 23-Nov 21

Try not to be sickened by the Hallmark-inspired displays of romance you see all around you this time of year. For you, romance is best when it’s dark and stormy. Try to find a compromise–maybe dark chocolates will do.


Nov 22-Dec 21

Issues with your loved ones can be difficult to overcome, Sagittarius. Whether you’re homesick or sick of your homies, Valentine’s chocolates will always be there for you.


Dec 22-Jan 19

Mercury is in retrograde for your sign, Capricorn. This will cause communication troubles for you this week. You may misread people or misrepresent your own feelings, so try not to rock the boat too much.


Jan 20-Feb 18

Happy birthday, Aquarius! Not only are you more creative than ever this week, this is also a great time to meet new people and forge new relationships. With Mercury entering your sign, you’re ready to shake things up! If your birthday has already passed, try not to be too envious of the Aquarians who get birthday cake and boxes of chocolate at the same time.

Famous Aquarius:

  • Yoko Ono
  • Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
  • Virginia Woolf
  • Toni Morrison


Feb 19-Mar 20

Whether you’re fantasizing about your V-day plans or just daydreaming in your psychology lecture, you’ll be feeling creative and introspective as Neptune enters your sign.


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