Beautiful, Talented Gazette Editors Abandon Journalistic Integrity

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.

After a period of discussion, The Daily Gazette has decided to forgo journalistic integrity and allow interviews of Gazette editors in articles. This change will surely usher in a brighter age of journalism at The Daily Gazette.

 Gorgeous photo by the esteemed Eléna Ruyter ‘14
Gorgeous photo by the esteemed Elèna Ruyter ‘14

Previously, to avoid conflicts of interest, The Daily Gazette had refused to interview their own editors for articles. However, due to The Daily Gazette editors’ undeniable charm and charisma, it became impossible to avoid interviewing them for stories.

“We’re just too interesting,” quipped Co-Editor in Chief and News Editor Jenni Lu ’16, adjusting her stylish glasses suavely.

“We decided that pretty much every story would be better with our quotes,” said Arts and Features Editor and Co-Editor in Chief Abby Holtzman ’16, strumming her guitar. “With our quooootes,” Holtzman sang, her clear, mellifluous voice echoing throughout the DG office.

All of the Gazette editors are on board with the new changes. Copy Editor Grant Torre ’17, who made sure that the commas in this sentence set off this clause correctly, was especially excited. “This is great,” Torre exclaimed, busting a graceful and skilled move, demonstrating his rhythm and motion. “I’m going to tweet this article and put my tweets in the article itself. #meta.” (You can follow him @granttorre).

Whatever losses in integrity result from these changes will surely be made up for by the witty insights from everyone’s favorite editors. “Most definitely,” said Annie Tvetenstrand ’16, chuckling quietly at the self-referential nature of quoting oneself in one’s own article.

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