Learning to move on from relationships and rejection

Ladies and Gentlemen: we are literally in the last full month of the 2011-12 academic year. Sure, you may not have realized it considering the amount of pressure that you have been under but its true. One month left before we all have the opportunity to head to the nearest beach or off to the cool internship you have set up for the summer.

This realization seriously got me thinking about the relationships that have been built this school year. They have been formed nevertheless. For every relationship that has heated or thawed, there are those that never got to come to fruition. There are those relationships that seem bound to occur only to have things unravel between both sides.

It happens, it’s life, but the thing that is interesting is the way one deals with rejection. We’ve all been through those instances in which we cared about someone and developed feelings for them only to find out that that person didn’t feel the same way. It sucks to have this occur because if you’re into someone and if you have already gotten to know them it’s hard to let that go. It’s different if you only wanted to hookup with this person at parties but to have it be taken forward is another story. The rejection that I am speaking of hurts and there is not a clear model to getting over it.

Of course, you can go into a shell but that wouldn’t help, as the cliché goes : “there are more fish in the sea.” While this is true, the best advice I believe that can be given is that life moves on with or without that person and that you always need to time to get over anything. Take the time out with the understanding that you want to get over this rejection.

Make no mistake this is definitely easier said than done as it really depends on how much this person meant to you. That’s the determining factor with rejection; exactly how much this person meant to you will determine how long it takes for you to get over it. I have come to realize a lot about the dynamics of rejection and with every rejection or breakup there is a lesson to be learned. Nothing that has to do with you but the way in which you look at your relationships and choose to engage in them.

It is an interesting thought to consider as we have all been forced to deal with rejection, though some are more accustomed to it than others. The biggest realization that needs to be mentioned is that despite being rejected you cannot put all the blame on yourself or spend time wondering what went wrong. Relationships are genuinely a two way street and what can you do if the other person doesn’t want to engage?

There is nothing — you just have accept that and move on. Successful relationships are born between two people who are equally invested in making the relationship work. No matter how much you care about someone, there is no satisfaction in being in a relationship where it is clear that one person does not care as much as the other.

Don’t look at rejection as a referendum on yourself as a person but as a time-saving signal from your partner, who could tell that your relationship will not be successful.

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