Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.
Tonight in Upper Tarble, in an event hosted by LaSS to raise money for Philadelphia’s Women’s Way, 13 Swarthmore men will battle for the title “Mr. Swarthmore.”
The competition will consist of several smaller events: “formal wear, bathing suit/tropical wear, a talent portion, Q&A, and a surprise event,’” says Jessica Hamilton ‘09, who is coordinating the event. Myrt Westphal, Tom Elverson and Martin Warner will be among the judges, but audience participation is essential, Hamilton says.
The men competing for the title include athletes, dancers and musicians, as well as members of other prominent student groups. At least three of the contestants plan, if chosen, to work for world peace; another, Simon Zhu ’11 (Mr. SBC), may just be plotting a coup d’état to overthrow StuCo.
This might concern Yongjun Heo ’09, Mr. SAO, who is currently the Student Council president.
Heo added a more serious note emphasizing the importance of the charity being promoted. “I believe the winner of Mr. Swarthmore should be someone who believes in the importance of gender equality,” he said. He stressed the importance of the Philadelphia Women’s Way, which will be given the proceeds from the event.
One contestant certainly thinks he can contribute to the prestige of the contest: Sam Menzin ’12 (Mr. Basketball) proclaimed “I won’t need the title for glory. ‘Mr. Swarthmore’ will get its glory from me.’
Andrew Loh ’10 (Mr. IC) declares that if he is the winner, he “will henceforth sign all [his] homework, resumes, and emails as ‘Andrew Loh, Mr. Swarthmore.’“
Dan Ly ’12 (Mr. Track) has louder plans: “If I win, I’ll probably run around campus yelling ecstatically.”
But in the end, for their own safety, the judges may choose Max Bressman ’12, Mr. Tango, who hinted at an inflammatory talent. “If I don’t burn down Tarble,” he said, “that will be an accomplishment by itself.”
Audience members are encouraged to bring money to throw at the contestants during their toned-down (that is, clothed) version of Dash for Cash.
The contest will take place at 9 p.m. tonight in Upper Tarble.
CARNIVAL OF ASS!
Do you really want this on Swarthmore's main web page? I know we're going through hard times, but Swat could really use a PR specialist… or some common sense