Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.
A recent poll shows that the most popular sport at Swarthmore is “Misery Poker.” Though neither a team nor recognized division sport, Misery Poker has a much larger following among Swat students than any other game, with virtually every student participating at some point in their four years here.
“It’s very competitive and yet the perks are amazing. I mean, it’s so empowering to be able to say, ‘My life sucks waaaay more than yours,'” observed a three time winner who not only gets to complain about his massive honors examinations, six twenty-five page papers, thesis, demanding part time job, position as leader and organizer of three large on campus clubs, and recently destroyed relationship with his high school sweetheart, he can add to the list that he will fail to be quoted in this article.
The poll suggests that the activity is second only to facebook in terms of popularity as a meaningless time vacuum. The beauty of the sport is apparently that the more you complain about what you should be doing with your life, the more you fail to do and therefore the more you get to complain about. Few games provide such a delightful combination of meta-torture and truly satisfying stupidity.