Magic Oreo Bars

I’m a religion major. I tend to see God all around me. On those beautiful spring days when the weather isn’t too hot or too cold, I see God in the air. When the sun is out and the sky is blue, I see God above me. When I’m swimming in the Atlantic waters off the Jersey Shore, I see God below me. Most recently, when the Dining Center is serving Magic Oreo Bars, I see God in the heavenly section of the DCC labeled “Daily Kneads.”

Magic Oreo Bars – what are they? Much like asking, “What is God?,” this is a difficult, if not impossible, question to answer. These bars are filled with m&ms, a thick and buttery oreo crust, and a gooey, fudgy, white-chocolate-sweetened-condensed-milk substance that manages to hold it all together. The first time my eyes glanced upon this sweet treat, I was confused by what I was looking at. Much like God appearing to Moses through the burning bush, I felt a heavenly spirit reach out to me and tap me on the shoulder upon glancing at the Magic Oreo Bars. This spirit (some may call it a form of God or other supreme being) instructed me to take a bite of the bar, to relish in all its flavors, and to let the Oreo crust melt on my tongue. I was hesitant – this bar looks like a typical dining hall dessert. Of course it would be high in sugar, trans fats, and cholesterol. Of course that also meant it would be delicious. But what about the Magic Oreo Bar was so special that (what some may refer to as) God was reaching out in an attempt to get me into tasting it?

After giving into the Magic Oreo Bar spirit, I grabbed a small piece and brought it back with me to my table. Excited to test the waters with this new dessert, I took a substantial bite. Words cannot express what happened next. I felt as though my entire world collapsed. Everything I knew to be true was immediately falsified. I began to view reality as a sort of matrix that all of us live in. We are not free thinkers. Rather, the collective consciousnesses of every single being in this universe was working together to create what we perceived as the truth of the universe. Every single thought I had in my mind was already thought of before by another being. I was not an original human being. I was a reflection of all other beings – not just human. Additionally, the Magic Oreo Bar was scrumptious. It was the perfect blend of sweet flavors and varying textures. I couldn’t complain.

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