After a 22 year absence, The Phoenix has recently received leaked documents from the Administration officially approving the return of Swarthmore’s football team to the college’s athletic program.
The Athletic Department has been working tirelessly on this plan over the COVID-19 years as an extensive rebalancing of team budgets was required to conform to Title IX financial provisions on equal funding for men’s and women’s teams. The return of football will be accompanied by the addition of two new women’s sports teams that have yet to be specified.
The department is confident that with the new changes, the return of Swarthmore football will prove a financial and sporting success. All four fields on Cunningham will be covered with turf in order to construct a $4 million stadium project that will seat 2,000 spectators.
The admissions office is reportedly still unaware of the return of Swarthmore football, with many questions arising over how a team with over 40 athletes will be recruited without compromising Swarthmore’s rigorous academic standards. Unconfirmed sources have stated that the new addition to campus dining facilities was in part motivated by the need to accommodate the dietary needs of so many new athletes.
While the reaction of the student body is still unknown, it is confirmed that Swarthmore football will play its first game against Johns Hopkins on April 1, 2023. Go Garnet!
Saddest thing about how they abolished football was not doing it in the Quaker consensus tradition, just a big surprise done in secret, then leaving student athletes who came to play football left holding the bag. It was an elitist academic classist, racist way to treat students