The Dorms as Astrological Signs

Author’s note: This may be a controversial article. However, if you disagree remember that the sun sign is not the most important placement in your astrological chart, but equal to moon, rising, mercury, venus, and mars placements!

ARIES: Willets

What other dorm should be associated with Aries, the most immature sign, than a dorm known for its wild first-year population? Aries are impulsive, energetic, and confident, which describe the energies of this hall no matter the day. With the floors covered with the stench of Saturday night’s vomit no one bothered to clean up, this is for sure this fire sign’s domain.

TAURUS: Woolman

Taurus, the sign of the bull, is known for its stubborn, picky, and luxurious qualities. The Woolman resident lounges in the arguably biggest rooms offered on campus. Due to the location, residents either don’t leave, or, when they do leave, do not return until the end of the day, showing the lazy attributes of this dorm.

GEMINI: Danawell

Gemini is one of the more debated signs of the zodiac, just as Danawell is. It is either loved or hated by the residents. Gemini is a communicative sign, and in this dorm many people gather, be it in the impressive new kitchen or in the lobby to use the projector with friends.

CANCER: Mertz

Cancer is all about the home. Mertz looks like a comfy ski lodge due to its warmly lit halls and wood and brick design. Not only that, but Mertz literally has a hearth — what cozier attributes does it need to be recognized as Cancer?

LEO: Wharton AB

Wharton AB is definitely a fire sign in part due to its concentration of eight freshman on each floor. Neither Aries (not messy enough) nor Sagittarius (not obnoxious enough), Wharton AB’s enthusiasm for socializing is apparent, marking them as Leos. Plus, Wharton AB knows they’re the best dorm (for underclassmen, at the very least), showing off their Leo conceit.

VIRGO: Alice Paul & David Kemp

Virgo is known for being the worker of the zodiac. Alice Paul & David Kemp both, with their lighting and smells, come off more like an office building than a home. Virgo also is the ruler of the sixth house, a house associated with health, which is fitting for dorms that are reminiscent of a hospital.

LIBRA: Wharton CD & PPR

An air sign, Libras are known for their communication. Wharton CD is the side that houses upperclassmen. People here do their own thing, and are either burnt out by their workload or have gone insane by the end of eight or so semesters. Libras are known for their compromising live-and-let-live attitude, which is reflected in the attitudes of Wharton CD and PPR residents, who do their own thing here.

SCORPIO: Hallowell/Dana & the Lodges

Dana/Hallowell is known for its labyrinthine hallways, rumored to be designed in order to keep students from protesting effectively. Similarly, Scorpio is known for its potential for manipulation. In the Lodges, each dorm has access to the others through an underground tunnel system. While locked up by the college for safety reasons, these secretive, dramatic passageways are clear indicators of Scorpio energy here.

SAGITTARIUS: Wharton EF & Worth

Sagittarius is known for its off-the-wall personality, just like the social scene in Wharton EF. It’s always so loud there, usually for no reason — just as Sagittarius is. Sagittarius is also known for its unreliability and unrealistic ideas due to its detriment in Mercury. In Worth, it’s almost a given for the washers and dryers in the laundry room to always be full, and for laundry to sit for hours after its completion. Why is there only one laundry room for so many students? An unrealistic idea implemented in a dorm where unreliable residents dwell.

CAPRICORN: Parrish

An administrative building during the day, students are often seen doing productive activities here such as doing homework or getting their mail. At night, however, parties are held here, ranging from alternative parties in the lounges to pregames in the radio room. This dorm is not as quiet as expected, and follows the attitude of “work hard, play hard” that this goat of the star follows.

AQUARIUS: Mary Lyon

Aquarius has an independent reputation, as does Mary Lyon in its location a mile away from campus. Just as Aquarius is known for its mystery, rumors have swirled around this dorm, from plots of the administration placing the quiet students here after complaints by the local Swarthmore residents and tales of raucous basement sex parties. Aquarius energy definitely lurks here.

PISCES: PPR Apartments

Honestly, I am not sure what goes on at PPR Apartments, but mystery and confusion is typically Pisces-related behavior. Pisces are very imaginative and often are disconnected from reality, which is similar to the status of PPR Apartments as they fall into a murky space, neither off-campus nor on-campus housing. Just as Pisces is in detriment in Mercury, the planet of travel, PPR Apartments’ out of the way location makes them hard to travel to.

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