Second Transmission Detected (Dactyl Promo)

October 21, 2016

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.

This article is a fake produced by Psi Phi (not a frat) as propaganda for the Dactyl Hunt, which will take place on Saturday, October 22nd, at 7 PM, in the Science Center quad. A pre-hunt briefing will take place in Kohlberg by the coffee bar. Psi Phi is responsible for the content of this message

On Thursday, Swat Astronomy student P. Siphi detected another mysterious alien transmission, this one apparently a focused signal directed at our campus. “Someone’s trying to talk to us, maybe to warn us,” Siphi said. “The lady in the video’s promising us help against some kind of invasion–I hope we’re not the actual target, because the way she described the invaders sounds serious.”

Sample advertisement

The video, which appears to show a human-like woman asking the students of Swarthmore to help her in a struggle against a similarly alien “Empire”, was sent multiple times on the same frequency before the source of the transmission abruptly vanished mid-broadcast. The video has been reproduced below.

Whatever the significance of this video, the Daily Gazette advises the student body to be ready for the possibility of an attack by an imperialistic alien power within the next 48 hours.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Previous Story

Questioning the ‘elite’ education

Next Story

Swarthmore Enrolls No American Military Vets: That’s a Problem

Latest from Arts & Features

First-Years Flaunt Fashion

In the post-COVID era, the art of dressing well seems to have slowly and sadly started to fade into antiquity. No longer are the schools of America flooded with fashion-forward students determined to dress their best. Chic jeans and sweaters are disappearing,

How To Do Things You Suck At: Lesson One

Welcome to “How To Do Things You Suck At,” every Swattie’s go-to guide on how to try something new and (eventually) succeed in it. Want to learn how to crochet? Play badminton? You’ve found the right place, then. Every month, you’ll follow

Community N Growth: Behind the Scenes with Rhythm n Motion

Rhythm n Motion, colloquially referred to as “RnM,” is a Tri-Co dance company between Swarthmore, Haverford, and Bryn Mawr. Created in 2005, the group is rooted in dances from the African Diaspora, though it often includes other dance styles like jazz, hip-hop,
Previous Story

Questioning the ‘elite’ education

Next Story

Swarthmore Enrolls No American Military Vets: That’s a Problem

The Phoenix

Don't Miss