Since I am writing a sex and dating column, I feel like it’s appropriate that I start with an article about swag. I’m sure you all have heard “swag” used in different contexts; purple swag, swag me out, pretty boy swag, etc., etc. But what is swag? Why is it necessary in order to attract members of the other sex, especially if you’re a guy? (Ladies, this applies to you too, though) Well, that is because swag is simply confidence, and confidence is everything. It reflects how you feel about yourself, how you carry yourself and interact with people, and it is by far the most attractive trait in a person. (Though many of you guys may disagree, it is true.)
So now that you know that the first step in getting the sex you want is confidence, a.k.a. swag, you might be wondering, “How do I get such swag?” The odds are if you’re reading this, you are a Swarthmore student, and the odds are you don’t have swag in abundance. These are my simple, but not quick or easy, steps to getting swag. Before I list them, you have to understand that you cannot just try these out for one party, though that may be where you start. Swag is a way of life; you must significantly change yourself to transform from someone without swag to someone with swag. Here they are:
Step 1. Stop Caring What Other People Think
This is very hard for most Swatties, seeing how small this school is and how intelligent everyone is. But I swear, this is ESSENTIAL. If you are thinking about what other people think, you are not present in the moment, you are not in tune with that special someone you want to get with, and you will come across as nervous. You should only care about what other people think to the extent that it stops you from walking out of the house naked and unbathed. Past that, its your life, live it how you want to, regardless of what people think or say.
Step 2. Relax
You cannot come across as confident if you are tense. You just can’t. This is why most Swatties feel more comfortable approaching the opposite sex in a sexual way when they are intoxicated.
However, you must be able to do this when you are sober. You have to push those thoughts about your hair, your old sweater and your lack of ‘game’ and just relax. No one has ‘game’ in the way it is described on TV. I don’t have game, but I get sex. You have to relax and be yourself. Those who you attract by being yourself will be the best ones for you.
Step 3. Be Positive
I cannot stress this enough. If you are playing misery poker with the person you are trying to have sex with, you have already shot yourself in the foot. The point is to make them feel good around you so that they want you around (especially in their bed). This is also something that takes time to change if you’re a naturally negative person. I could write a whole article on positivity, and probably will, but that is for another time. If you are positive and optimistic, good things will come to you. That is just a fact. You will attract other positive people, who are more likely to have sex with you than negative people. Also, you will just enjoy life more, regardless of sex. Just try it.
Step 4. Do What You Love
This is another thing that I can’t stress enough. If you are doing something you hate (for example, pre-med if you’re not really a doctor in the making,) you can’t help but be negative and depressed. I know this can be linked to family pressures, but honestly, if you don’t do what you love you can’t become the person you want to be. If you do what you love, you will naturally build confidence in yourself. If you haven’t chosen your major yet, think long and hard about what you actually like to do, not what you think is important or what your parents want you to do or what you think other people would be impressed by. Do what you want. Do what you’ve been doing all along when you get the chance to really choose. Follow your passion, and it will lead you to happiness.
Step 5. Instead Of Asking “Why?” Ask “Why Not”
This is a major shift in thinking. Stop being hesitant. Stop being afraid. Just ask why not, and if there isn’t a major reason why not (rejection and personal embarrassment don’t count, we all go through that,) then go for it. Dance with that girl or boy. Ask for their number. Why not? They can only tell you no, and then you’re back where you started, and you can just try with someone else. Put yourself out there and be straightforward about what you want. Why not? All you will do is attract people who have similar goals, and the ones who don’t, screw them. Have a clear vision in mind, and go for it. There is no reason not to.