I have a hobby that I like to indulge in some evenings. It’s vigorous, works up a sweat, and involves a huge amount of wrist strength. Every Thursday night I take anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half to play foosball with friends and the Swiss Mister Hans-Jakob Werlen. So, this article is in tribute to them and the great game that is foosball. (Also, I apologise for the double entendre but foosball to me is all those things, it gets intense).
The problem I have found with life is that I have hit my peak at the age of twenty. Admittedly it’s not a very high peak, more of a mound or a molehill, but it is my peak nonetheless. Playing in IM soccer is too much of a struggle for me. I labor up and down the wing like a wounded wildebeest, exhausted and oblivious to the world. Receiving the ball is quite frankly a terrifying experience, especially when I have to turn and face the determined faces of the hungry opposition who wait like hyenas to finish my wearied person and strip me of the ball. And if you ever want to see what a grown man losing all self respect looks like, then, since I am the only person who ever plays in a Fulham shirt, it’s easy to see. It’s a sad state of affairs when it seems that your peak physical fitness and mental strength are long behind you; it’s sadder when that peak is at twenty. But IM soccer is a tough, gritty team sport made for those who can run fifty yards without having a mini heart attack.
Foosball, on the other hand is tough, gritty game that requires less physical exertion, which is great. It is, however, a game that requires mental agility and quick reaction times. I have neither. The game is obviously simple: you have 11 players attached to four metal rods and you want to use those players to score. Simple enough. But the problems arise when one has to play a regular player of the game. Techniques are developed with greater amounts of game time. A surprising amount of control can be gained from plastic shaped men attached to a rotating bar. A passing game can develop if it is desired, shots can be angled depending on the part of the player used, and occasionally you can get goals from a keeper firing a shot the length of the field. It is a fast game. It is an enjoyable game (but only when you aren’t playing Hans-Jakob, because he always wins). There are counter shots that use a clearance to gain extra power and a hugely satisfying sound when the plastic ball hits the wooden goal backboard hard. Despite all of the fun that people have playing the game, it is not very popular, or at least, it seems that very few people will play it.
I don’t know whether this is because it seems a little bit nerdy or because people just don’t consider it to be worth their time, but it certainly isn’t nerdy and it is definitely worth the time. Maybe some people just had a bad experience one time. Foosball deserves some respect in any case, as it is a difficult game. It’s hardly as simple as tiddly winks or as easy as Connect 4. It is a game that requires mental strength and physical exertion. Cross chess and football together, and you might get somewhere close to the awesomeness of foosball. Obviously, this is an individual sport, not just a merger like Chess-Boxing, which has its own rules, code of conduct and international championships.
Just to give a few examples of how important and mainstream that foosball has become: the sport has been registered with the International Olympic Committee, there are 65 countries in the current International Table Soccer Federation and the first major tour by a player (Lee Peppard) was sponsored as the “Quarter of a Million Dollar Tour” back in 1976 (which is a lot more money now obviously).If you want to give it a go, there are tables next to Essie Maes. It’s great fun and it is worth it. And if you want to learn how to really play like a pro and see a true master in action, then talk to Hans-Jakob, the resident sharp-shooter of Swarthmore College.
A rare gem, Jamie. Thank you (: