Valentine’s Day has come and gone, the heart shaped chocolates are almost empty or too disgusting to even keep eating. Those flowers you received are beginning to show their first shades of brown. Whether your valentine was a friend or someone for whom you have deep feelings, I have to say that it’s a fun holiday that people shouldn’t read too much into. If you did or did not have a valentine, don’t fret. I’m sure you woke up the next day feeling like the same person who woke up on Feb. 13.
I’m not saying Valentine’s Day is bad. I just think that we as a society give too much credit to this day. If you have someone special every day is Valentine’s Day; just because the heart shaped chocolates can be found in every shelf in Target does not make the day any special. That was just me venting on the day that is “Valentine’s Day.”
This week’s column is not going to focus on Valentine’s Day or Kanye West; it’s going to focus on the perception that is fed to us of what a relationship should be or shouldn’t be. The topic for this week is the unexplained uncertainty of romantic comedies. Within the past couple of weeks — I will not even lie — I have watched some of the most interesting romantic comedies and, in order to keep the column from heading into a synopsis page on IMDB, I will not mention any of the names of the movies to which I am referring.
Let me give you the scenario in most of these films: guy meets girl, girl and guy hook up, they enter into a relationship, drama happens, they end it only to find themselves back with each other by the end of the movie. Each time we sit and we think that one day that could possibly be us.
But in reality, life isn’t Hollywood and surely relationships aren’t just some script put down on film for 90 minutes. It’s weird the way relationships work; we like to feel as if they are so simple, but by doing that we open ourselves to hurt when we feel to make the connections between what can and cannot happen. In real life, here’s how it genuinely goes down: guy meets girl and either girl will like guy or will reject him.
This is never presented in these movies. There is never any sort of work put in to establish the relationship. It skips from meeting, to sex, to relationship.
Umm — that’s not how that works. After the initial meeting let’s say guy and girl go out, it seems to be going good until the storm comes. Whether or not you outlast the storm determines whether it lasts and usually at times it doesn’t. The thing that gets me with romantic comedies is that the storm usually results in the couple breaking up, ignoring each other’s calls for weeks, even months, and then it skips to the scene in which they reconnect. This is where Hollywood shines its magic because usually after it’s over for most relationships, it’s over. There is no sequel or next scene. I think that we need to make that clear so we can stop acting as if our relationships are a scene from the new Mila Kunis movie.
Trust me: breakups suck.
But they strengthen you and get you ready for the next person that comes looking for your heart. They aren’t bad and shouldn’t be demonized the way Hollywood makes us think. I believe romantic comedies have become less and less romantic and are just comedies because it the things that happen in these movies are surreal. Don’t get me wrong, they are fine to pop in on a Friday night when you want a laugh. Do that then, but don’t take them for more than they actually are.
Relationships aren’t something that can be squeezed into a plot because they are a never ending story, and when it goes bad it’s not the end of the world. It’s just the end of the world you had with that one person, so the next time you watch a romantic comedy watch for the laughs, don’t watch to relate to it because just like Valentine’s Day; romantic comedies highlight superficiality and unreal feelings. Relationships are precious and I hope that if you have someone special, you buy them heart shaped chocolates and flowers on random days, not just because there is a sale at your local Target.
Until next time, take care.
