Spotted… (December)

January 20, 2010

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.

Adelaide,
I see you carrying around a complete works of Shakespeare book all the time. Think you could teach me something? On or off the field hockey field? I like those red cowboy boots of yours and your perpetually messy hair. Will you be my co-teacher forever?
—Nutmeg


To the couple whom my friend and his girlfriend caught fucking on the Tarble balcony during the R&M afterparty: You suck for having stolen their spot, but it’s pretty awesome that you kept going even after they interrupted.
—???

Sample advertisement

Seen you at cornell – so when I go there to work,
I try to look good.
—dressing & haiku-writing to impress


Grinding ever heard of it? I said whilst donning my yellow masquerade
I yearn for the day I get to spin you again…
I think I’m ballin’ for you <333
—gorillaberg


i saw you near the coffee @ sharples.
i like mine smooth, steamy, bold, and full-bodied.
let’s talk.
—light n’ sweet


I loved your bright smile.
I loved your quiet wisdom.
We liked a lot of the same things and had compatible iPod playlists.
But you were a senior and I was a freshman…

You aren’t ever going to see this,
because now I’m a senior and you’ve long since graduated.
But I just wanted to let you know
that you’ve been loved for the past 3.5 years,
and now I’m letting you go.
Adieu.
—Wine, coffee, chocolate & Morricone.


I just spent an hour browsing your tunes on Shakespeer. I’m a big fan of all you have to offer, but my connection is too slow to download it all. Maybe we should try a LAN.
—37.3 GiB


“My friend says that you gave me the stinkeye at Hobbs’ the other day. That’s hot. Say, why don’t you take a break from writing inane e-mails to the entire student body and come over and puke on my carpet? Again?
—Tarkan


I was smitten with you from the moment I saw you urinating on the carpet in front of the Men’s bathroom. You almost made it! Let’s be friends.
—Not Myrt Westphal


To the Willets Pirate Queen –

Sat near you once at Sharples. You stood up, said “crew, let’s bounce”, and the whole table stopped what they were doing and left with you. Don’t know what kind of crew you have, but if you’re the captain, I want to be first mate.
—arrrrrrr

Previous Story

Lang Opportunity Scholars

Next Story

Dean Search Q&A – Candidate 1

Latest from Opinion

Weekly Column: Swat Says

Since the housing agreement was due this week, have you been thinking about your plans for and thoughts about housing next semester? Yeyoon Song ’27: I don’t really have a plan, all I want is just a single. As long as it’s

The Performative Nature of Social Media

“Nothing on social media is real” – this idea has been repeated to us throughout our lives. The reality of this statement became jarringly clear to me recently. During my TikTok doomscroll before bed, I came across a video of a woman

Swarthmore Alumni for Palestine Speak Out About Suspension

As a group of concerned alumni, many of whom have ourselves led protests at Swarthmore over the past two decades, we are deeply troubled to learn that on March 6, 2025, Swarthmore College officially sanctioned ten student protesters for their organizing against
Previous Story

Lang Opportunity Scholars

Next Story

Dean Search Q&A – Candidate 1

The Phoenix

Don't Miss