Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.
From McCabe to Sharples to Cornell — hey, where else do we spend our time? — love can strike anywhere at Swarthmore.
Hey fast-talking-freshman, we met on the Pasta Bar line when it was almost out the door. I have a boyfriend, but I thought you were cute — sorry to be heteronormative, but want to be set up with my girlfriends?
— looking to play matchmaker
I heard your heavenly voice coming from the reading room tonight and went in to get a cup of tea… and another… and another. You were ensconced in an armchair with a “friend”; I was all wrapped up in a big coat and my comparative lit readings. If the study buddy doesn’t work out, don’t worry — I’ll have teatime with you, anytime.
Dear Crazy Vanilla, Sorry you couldn’t scoop me up the other day. Didn’t meant to leave you out in the cold. I still thought you were really sweet, a real scream. Hope we’re cool; it’s all in Good Humor, right? Better luck next time!
You’re the cutie with the tight jeans and black frame glasses that strums fast and turns my radio on. Let’s get filthy together, my Brooklyn Schmetterling, in the shower, on the floor, and while the squirrels watch us in the woods. We’re in globalization & culture tomorrow. You can run my world; I’ll be the shyguy with my laces untied.
You told me why the sky was blue when I interviewed you for an article my freshman year, and now that you’re back, i hear you singing opera all over campus. What can I say, I’m a sucker for nerds — can we be friends?
— nellie bly ’10
My entire love life is a missed connection.
You were sitting on the bench outside of LPAC when I left my 9:30 class the Friday before fall break. I smiled at you, but I don’t think you saw me. Will you find me? Can we be friends, mystery boy?
Saw you spill a bit of soup in your beard and wanted to pick it out…lovingly.
—mustache november is my favorite month
This isn’t a romantic missed connection, but hello freshman doppleganger! People keep pointing you out to me because we look like alike and share mannerisms. It got REALLY weird when I found out you live in my freshman year room and have a roommate with the same name as my sophomore year roommate: sorry about cygnet-stalking you, but let me know if you want advice on what your next three years entail as you live my life!
—former dana 3rd girl
You checked out my books.
I checked out your ass.
I think I’m going to trade studying in Cornell for McCabe now.
Saw you in Cornell. Call me.
—a (not terribly picky) dude
Send us your own wish-they-would-happens, or try getting in touch with one of these posters, at firstname.lastname@example.org