Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.
After the success of the “Kick Coke” campaign, students objecting to the replacement of Coca-Cola products by those produced by the Pepsi Company formed the “Kick Pepsi” campaign. Drawing on common dissatisfaction with the Pepsi products, the campaign has succeeded.
“Kick Pepsi” held a rally last Wednesday, in which Alexander Benn ’08, the head of the organization, asked “Is your soda boring?” In classic call-and-response fashion, the ralliers replied, “my soda is boring.” Benn went on, “want something a little more extreme?” The crowd replied in the affirmative, and Benn then introduced a representative from the Shabam Corporation and introduced their carbonated beverage product, to which the assembled multitude said with one voice “whoa…whoa!”
Famed athlete Ryan Sportsman appeared at the event expounding the virtues of Shabam. “Do you think I’d be able to keep up with my high intensity lifestyle if I were drinking Pepsi? The only soda awesome enough for my tragic athletic absurdity is Shabam!” Sportsman then proceeded to pour an entire 2-liter jug of Shabam into his mouth.
Sharples Dining Hall has already replaced its fixtures with more extreme ones bearing the Shabam logo. We sent our intrepid reporters down to Dining Services to interview students about the change. Jesse Gottschalk ’09 seemed enthused about the exchange, who simply responded “Whoa!” when told about the extreme caffeination capabilities offered by Shabam. We spoke to Joe Borkowski ’08, currently in Poland, by telephone. When asked whether he knew about the high intensity high fructose corn syrup content of the product, replied “no, but I wish I knew!” He was then tackled by an unidentified student.
Rumors were heard of attempts to create a “Kick Shabam” campaign, but the auto-fire action built into the new soda fountains made this impossible, as did the cries of “Shabam!” from Linda McDougal of Dining Services. For now, it seems, Shabam is to stay.