Locked out NHLers swarm Motherpuckers

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.

The recent cancellation of the 2004-05 National Hockey League season has left many of the world’s top players looking for work, or failing that, a place to keep their skills sharp. A few of the more desperate skaters attended last night’s Motherpuckers session.

Twelve NHLers, including such luminaries as Todd Bertuzzi, Marty McSorley, and Donald Brashear, showed up at the Rose Garden Circle at 9:40 last night. This caused an immediate problem, as there were not enough van space to accomodate the new players. Fortunately, after the Van Coordinator was called and woken up, a new van was secured and somehow, all of the players managed to fit into a Van That Holds Only 10 People.

With that crisis averted, the NHL players quickly took over the “A” line. In fact, they frequently had to be reminded that Motherpuckers, as a Swarthmore activity, is run in a Quaker fashion and everybody needed to be given an equal chance to play. A few Swatties were enthralled at the sight of their NHL heroes playing right before their eyes, but most were annoyed with the NHLers. “I’m going to be up until 4:00 studying for my orgo exam and now I have to deal with this!” said Dan Bonello ’06 of being forced to watch the best players in the world.

Warren Benjamin ’08 had a different complaint. “How am I going to brag to my roommate about scoring on Jonathan Ference when this other guy is playing goal? Martin Bro-dure? What right does he have to interfere with my quest for world dominance?” The Gazette staff attempted to reach Brodeur for comment, but instead was reduced to cowering in fear by a withering gaze from legendary defenseman Scott Stevens.

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