Wednesday, April 2, 2003

by Jeremy Schifeling
Co-Managing Editor

Swarthmore played host to yet another “great debate” last night, but this
oratorical showdown dealt with neither Iraq nor Weapons of Mass
Destruction, and featured but one disparaging remark about President Bush’s
intellect. Instead, the well-attended event considered the relative merits
of two Jewish holiday treats, the latke and the hamantasch, to say nothing
of gender politics, quantum physics, and Teletubbies.

As eloquently introduced by Jonathan “The Chicken” Schneider ’05, the two
participants were English Literature Professor Raima Evan and Physics
Professor Amy Bug.

Evan opened the debate with a strong argument for the superiority of the
latke, as well as the depravity of the hamantasch. After noting the
feminine, generative symbolism inherent in the latke’s circular shape, Evan
contrasted this with the violent, destructive connotations of the
hamantasch’s triangular design.

She also pointed out that while the home production of latkes has
traditionally been an identity-affirming practice for Jewish women,
hamentaschen have now become mass-produced and divorced from their unique,
Jewish roots. Discussing the move away from traditional fillings of poppy
seeds or prunes to sickly-sweet fruit fillings, Evan said the hamantasch
was in danger of becoming a “funny-shaped danish.”

Evan then delved into the historical contexts of each foodstuff. The latke
was borne from the miracle of Hanukkah, said Evan, while the hamantasch
came out of the tragedy of the Purim story. With this in mind, she told the
audience that she preferred her pastries not to be “blood-soaked.”

Bug followed Evan’s remarks with an equally interdisciplinary approach to
the topic, but arguing for both the equality of the hamantasch with the
latke, as well as its superiority. “I’m not trying to confuse you,” said
Bug. “I’m just trying to mislead you.”

Bug wowed the audience with a short PowerPoint presentation, entitled
“Transgressing Boundaries: Towards a Hermeneutics of Hamantaschen.”

The presentation began with a postmodernist feminist interpretation of the
issue and then proceeded to delve into Bug’s specialty, relativistic
quantum physics. Bug explained that at the sub-atomic level, it was hard to
tell the difference between a latke quark and a hamantasch quark, and so
the two were really not that different after all. Furthermore, the
categorization of these microscopic particles by physical characteristics
(up/down, charm/strange, etc.) should be replaced by a more appealing
system featuring hamantasch fillings (poppy seed/prune, apricot/cherry,
etc.) argued Bug.

Finally, Bug discussed the semiotics of the Teletubbies to show that the
gender-bending, triangle-wearing Tinky Winky represented all the best
things about the free-thinking hamantasch. And in addition, according to
the lessons offered by the show, the hamantasch could still get along with
the latke (i.e., the circle-wearing Po).

Following their presentations, both debaters were interrogated on such
issues as the place of frozen latkes in the debate and the question of
whether either food item was actually healthy.

However, after much discussion, the two speakers came to the conclusion
that both delicacies could peacefully co-exist in this world, and then
embraced to the delighted applause of the audience.

*****

* Private First Class Jessica Lynch, who had been held as a prisoner of war
in Iraq, was rescued on Tuesday by American troops. Private Lynch had been
taken, along with 11 other soldiers, when the 507th Maintenance Company was
ambushed near Nasiriya on March 23. Five of those soldiers were later shown
on Iraqi TV, though Lynch was not one of them. Fifteen Americans total are
still reported missing.

* The battle for Baghdad got under way today as the American forces entered
the “red zone”. This zone is defined as the area around the capital that is
protected by Hussein’s elite Republican Guard. Although still around fifty
miles from the city, it is believed that the Americans are now in a
heightened period of risk since this would be the most likely time for a
chemical warfare attack. Meanwhile, the Iraqi defense minister warned that
Iraq might be planning to use guerilla tactics in order to prolong the war
into the unbearably hot summer months.

* The Supreme Court heard oral arguments today on the University of
Michigan affirmative action cases. While many opponents of affirmative
action were expecting to be able to make an absolute case, it seemed that
the judges were seeking nuance. Though the Court will not rule for several
months, the demanded nuance seemed to suggest to many observers that
affirmative action may survive its most severe test since the Bakke case 25
years ago, which allowed race to act as a “plus factor” in admissions.

*****

French Film Festival: “Ridicule”
Kohlberg 328, 7:00 p.m.

Movie viewing on the history of Modern Iran
LPAC 301, 7:00 p.m.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 showing
Sponsored by the Anomalous Picture Show
Trotter 203, 7:30 p.m.

Denyce Graves in Concert
Sponsored by the William J. Cooper Foundation
Pearson-Hall Theatre – LPAC, 8:00 p.m.

“Hidden Voices: The Lives of LGBTIQ Muslims”
A workshop/presentation by Faisal Alam
Scheuer Room – Kohlberg, 8:00 p.m.

Discussion on peace in America and abroad
Mephistos, 9:00 p.m.

Sam Uslan made 22 saves but it was not enough as the Garnet fell to the
Shorewomen 12-3. Jackie Kahn scored two of the goals for the Garnet and
Heidi Fieselmann added the other. Washington was led by Janet Studdiford
and Casey Sawma who each scored four goals in the game. The game also
included Studdiford’s 100th career goal. The team’s record fell to 3-4 on
the season and 0-3 in the Centennial Conference.

*****

The baseball game against Muhlenberg scheduled for today was postponed
until Thursday April 3rd at 3:00 p.m. The softball team’s doubleheader
against Ursinus was also rescheduled for the same time. The softball home
doubleheader that was scheduled for Thursday against Rutgers-Camden has
been cancelled.

*****

Today:
Men’s Lacrosse at Elizabethtown, 3:30 p.m.

Tomorrow:
Baseball at Muhlenberg, 3:00 p.m.
Softball at Ursinus (DH), 3:00 p.m.
Women’s Lacrosse at Widener, 4:00 p.m.

*****

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to
do and not doing it.”
–Mary Wilson Little

*****
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