Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.
All of us here at Swarthmore are pretty familiar with procrastination.
Often thought to be a bad habit, procrastination is sometimes a necessary coping mechanism to deal with the large amounts of work and stress Swatties and many others endure. As my friend says, “if you put it off till the last minute, it only takes a minute.” And sometimes, that’s really all you need for smaller and less significant obligations. We’ll call this Strategic Procrastination.
And then there is what I call Perfectionist Procrastination. The men in my family are masters of this brand of procrastination. My dad once explained to me the psychology behind his working habits. He noted that when there are no deadlines and something is very important to him, he always thinks, “I’ll be able to write it a little better in a day or two.” This happens again and again, resulting in a paradox where the longer he puts it off, the more perfect it seems like the end product has to be—a cycle that can paralyze him into inaction.
Whether by nature or nurture, my dad passed his procrastinating tendencies onto my brother, Kai*. Regardless of the task, be it his schoolwork, a job search, or his chores, his catch phrase has always been, “Yeah okay… Just one more minute!” Strategic and Perfectionist Procrastination: he does it all—for all of his assignments, for all of his personal obligations, and also for all of the self-discovery and reconciliation work involved in healing some of what was broken the night he assaulted me.
When it comes to the healing processes, Kai has a serious case of Perfectionist Procrastination. To his credit, his heart is in a place of deep shame and regret, with a desire to ameliorate the consequences of his horrible actions as efficiently as possible. Unfortunately, this only heightens his Perfectionist Procrastination, even for something as small as a check-in email. Imagine how long it takes for him to tackle the more significant tasks, such as finding a therapist or unpacking the huge emotional duffel bag of his actions.
I do understand Perfectionist Procrastination. I experience it most when I try to exercise, stay in shape, or improve my Frisbee game. Each time that I think about working out, I easily find some reason why it isn’t the most convenient time or why I’ll be more successful if I go later in the week. Of course, if I go later, I’ll have to make up for my laziness by running faster or exercising on three machines instead of two.
But take a minute to think how crazy this is. How can I run faster tomorrow when I am not even training now?
It’s simply not realistic to expect oneself to improve without any practice or conditioning. It is much better to go the gym earlier, be a little disappointed at how slow you are, then continue going on a regular schedule (even if that’s just once or twice a week). This is the only realistic way to build up your strength to where you want it to be.
“Use it or lose it” applies to the muscles we exercise in the Matchbox, and it also applies to the muscles we exert when we make ourselves vulnerable, let ourselves feel the extent of our shame, and confront the skeletons in our closets. The more we put off our own strength building, the weaker we actually become. This might be relatively harmless when it comes to staying in shape; however, it is heartbreaking when, in the throes of Perfectionist Procrastination, someone you love backslides on their work of trauma-healing and reconciliation.
Strategic Procrastination is what it is: it’s a strategy to help us cope with having too much on our plate. Maybe it’s not always as “strategic” as it sounds, but at the end of the week, things with a deadline get done. Perfectionist Procrastination, on the other hand, is often more toxic. It can allow a team member’s potential to float off on the wind or a siblinghood to remain broken for years. It serves neither the procrastinator nor the subject of procrastination, but instead simply mumbles the refrain, “Just one more minute…”
*Kai is a pseudonym.
