The Gazette’s 2013 April Fools’ Day Issue

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.

Didn’t have time to finish reading The Daily Gazette’s 2013 April Fools’ Day issue? Here’s a list of our articles:

Board of Managers Divests

New Greek Life Referendum Calls for Ban on All Things Greek

Dr. Eivhul ’54 Donates $100 BILLION Dollars to Swarthmore

Student Poses Really Great Question to Volunteer Sex Workers at Friday Night Lecture

Gender Neutral Bathroom Revealed to be Steamy Brothel

Sophomore Can’t Tell if Sound is Roommate is Having Sex or Doing Physics Homework

Rave in Mccabe

Worthless Health Center Correctly Diagnoses Pregnancy

Swarthmore Student Comes Out as Republican

Student Quarantined with Deadly Case of Anti-intellectualism

New Graduation Policy Enforces Swarthmore’s Anti-Capitalist Ideology

Students Attend Baseball Game

Big Boi Cancels for LSE, Replaced by Local Female Folk Duo

David Thompson Encourages Bass Guitar in Parrish Parlors

Swattie Body Parts Q&A

Prospective Student Overheard Exotifying Arboretum

The Week in Pictures: Sleeping Swatties, Art, Dance

Bound and Shagged: Fool’s Errands