The Gazette's 2013 April Fools' Day Issue

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.

Didn’t have time to finish reading The Daily Gazette’s 2013 April Fools’ Day issue? Here’s a list of our articles:

Board of Managers Divests

New Greek Life Referendum Calls for Ban on All Things Greek

Dr. Eivhul ’54 Donates $100 BILLION Dollars to Swarthmore

Student Poses Really Great Question to Volunteer Sex Workers at Friday Night Lecture

Gender Neutral Bathroom Revealed to be Steamy Brothel

Sophomore Can’t Tell if Sound is Roommate is Having Sex or Doing Physics Homework

Rave in Mccabe

Worthless Health Center Correctly Diagnoses Pregnancy

Swarthmore Student Comes Out as Republican

Student Quarantined with Deadly Case of Anti-intellectualism

New Graduation Policy Enforces Swarthmore’s Anti-Capitalist Ideology

Students Attend Baseball Game

Big Boi Cancels for LSE, Replaced by Local Female Folk Duo

David Thompson Encourages Bass Guitar in Parrish Parlors

Swattie Body Parts Q&A

Prospective Student Overheard Exotifying Arboretum

The Week in Pictures: Sleeping Swatties, Art, Dance

Bound and Shagged: Fool’s Errands

Nick Gettino

Latest from News

Creating a Community Legacy: Swarthmore’s Class Capsule Project

Last spring, members of the Class of 2024 were invited to participate in a project that aimed to extend their connection to the college even after graduation. Their submissions of memorable and personal items to a capsule were part of the initial

Swarthmore Students Host Fundraiser and Vigil for Myanmar Earthquake Relief

On March 28, an earthquake with a magnitude of 7.7 struck Myanmar, also known as Burma, exacerbating the ongoing humanitarian crisis in the country already ravaged by political unrest and civil war. Last week, in response to the disaster, two Swarthmore students

Seniors Search for Jobs During Instability

Swarthmore College seniors are facing a tumultuous political climate as they search for jobs ahead of May graduation. Since January, the executive branch has paused grant funding that employed thousands of researchers and PhD students while federal job cuts have impacted over

Swarthmore Braces for Federal Funding Losses, Some Already Cut

Large research universities, including Columbia University and the University of Pennsylvania, have lost hundreds of millions in federal funding because of the Trump Administration’s executive orders. At Swarthmore College, two federal grants have been cut. The college is planning for how it

Luna’s Mexican Grill Opens in the Ville

When Swarthmore upscale wine bar and restaurant Village Vine announced that it would be holding its final dinner service on March 8, many members of the community were shocked and disappointed to hear the news. The day after its closure, however, chef-owner

The Gazette’s 2013 April Fools’ Day Issue

Board of Managers Divests

New Greek Life Referendum Calls for Ban on All Things Greek

Dr. Eivhul ’54 Donates $100 BILLION Dollars to Swarthmore

Student Poses Really Great Question to Volunteer Sex Workers at Friday Night Lecture

Gender Neutral Bathroom Revealed to be Steamy Brothel

Sophomore Can’t Tell if Sound is Roommate is Having Sex or Doing Physics Homework

Rave in Mccabe

Worthless Health Center Correctly Diagnoses Pregnancy

Swarthmore Student Comes Out as Republican

Student Quarantined with Deadly Case of Anti-intellectualism

New Graduation Policy Enforces Swarthmore’s Anti-Capitalist Ideology

Students Attend Baseball Game

Big Boi Cancels for LSE, Replaced by Local Female Folk Duo

David Thompson Encourages Bass Guitar in Parrish Parlors

Swattie Body Parts Q&A

Prospective Student Overheard Exotifying Arboretum

The Week in Pictures: Sleeping Swatties, Art, Dance

Bound and Shagged: Fool’s Errands

Nick Gettino

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Specific Advice: How to Hook Up With that Dude Who’s in Your Econ Class (At Pub Nite)

Softball Splits with Defending Conference Champion, Baseball Cruises to Seven Straight

Creating a Community Legacy: Swarthmore’s Class Capsule Project

Swarthmore Students Host Fundraiser and Vigil for Myanmar Earthquake Relief

Seniors Search for Jobs During Instability

Swarthmore Braces for Federal Funding Losses, Some Already Cut

Luna’s Mexican Grill Opens in the Ville

Specific Advice: How to Hook Up With that Dude Who’s in Your Econ Class (At Pub Nite)

Softball Splits with Defending Conference Champion, Baseball Cruises to Seven Straight

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The Gazette’s 2013 April Fools’ Day Issue

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Specific Advice: How to Hook Up With that Dude Who’s in Your Econ Class (At Pub Nite)

Softball Splits with Defending Conference Champion, Baseball Cruises to Seven Straight

Latest from News

Specific Advice: How to Hook Up With that Dude Who’s in Your Econ Class (At Pub Nite)

Softball Splits with Defending Conference Champion, Baseball Cruises to Seven Straight

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