Friday, May 3, 2002

Editor’s note: This article was initially published in The Daily Gazette, Swarthmore’s online, daily newspaper founded in Fall 1996. As of Fall 2018, the DG has merged with The Phoenix. See the about page to read more about the DG.



Dear Gazette Readers:

You may or may not know who I am, but my name is Karla Gilbride, and I’m one of
the many
names and faces behind the Daily Gazette. Unfortunately, though, after today
I’ll be behind
it no longer as graduation and life outside the Swat bubble are quickly coming
into view.
After writing for the Gazette since sophomore year and helping to edit it for
the past two
semesters, this publication has become an important part of my life at
Swarthmore, and as we
get ready to send it out for the last time while I’m on campus, I just wanted to
let you
know how much I’m going to miss being a part of this team effort and also thank
all of you
for being the involved, responsive readership that you are.

I’ve learned an incredible amount through working on the Gazette for the past
three years.
I’ve learned how numerous facets of the school work because I went to meetings
and spoke
with administrators that I probably never would have gone to or met with if it
weren’t for
the Gazette. I’ve learned how to talk comfortably to people I don’t know and
pseudo-intelligently about subjects I know nothing about, like golf and college
Most importantly, though, I’ve learned how to accept and benefit from criticism,
like when
you guys tell me that my weather jokes are atrocious or that my world news
coverage was
biased or inaccurate. Honestly, though, as much as we may sometimes gripe, I
think I speak
for the entire Gazette staff when I say that we truly appreciate every comment
you guys send
us, even the negative ones, because they show us that you’re taking the time to
read what we
write and care enough to tell us what you think about it. And that’s what keeps
getting us
up in the morning, or rather keeping us up at night, to continue getting the
Gazette out and
into your inboxes on a daily basis.

I have complete faith that Jeremy Schifeling, Pei Pei Liu, and the other members
of the
Gazette staff who will be continuing on next year will make this publication
even stronger
than it’s been during my years here. As I make the transition from Gazette
insider to
Gazette subscriber, I’m sure I’ll find the Gazette to be an invaluable source of
about life at Swat. And I’m sure I’ll also find plenty of things to complain
about, so watch
out guys!

Thanks so much to all of you for a great three years, and good luck on finals to
those of
you who have them!

Karla Gilbride


The Daily Gazette
Swarthmore College
Friday, May 3, 2002
Volume 6, Number 129 – Last Issue of the Semester!

* Seniors!  Did you know that graduation doesn’t have to entail the end of your
subscription?  No, the wild and zany Swat news that the Gazette has been
providing you with
for the past four years can continue for years to come!  All you have to do is
drop us a
line at with your
post-Swat email address (be it from grad school, a
future employer, or even one of those newfangled alum addresses) and you’ll
start receiving
the Gazette at the new address come the fall.  So please, don’t hesitate to let
us know, and
in the meantime, we wish you all the very best with finals and post-finals

* And be on the look-out for our semi-annual Gazette Readers’ Survey.  We’re
always trying
to improve our publication and make it more useful for you, the reader, so we’d
it very much if you could complete and return the survey when it comes out
sometime next

* Check out the Daily Gazette’s Science Center Construction Feature:

See the
evolution of the center over the last year and how the construction site looks

Our new email address:

Photo of the day:

Today’s issue:


1) Goldstein wins wing-eating contest

2) Weekend roundup

3) Swarthmore police report

4) World news roundup

5) Campus events

6) Correction


1) World sports roundup

2) This weekend’s contests

WEATHER FORECAST – Courtesy of Karla!

Today: Windy, with partly cloudy skies. High near 64.
Yesterday at 12:35, I walked out of the last class I would ever attend as a

Tonight: Clear. Low near 43.
As I made my way through the milling crowd, I was struck by the bittersweet
nature of the

Saturday: Mostly sunny. Highs in the mid 60s.
Never again would I be exposed to the astute observations of Swat professors or
the pithy
comments of my classmates.

Sunday: Mix of sun and clouds. Highs in the low 70s.
And never again would I have to wait in line to have my card swiped during the
lunch rush at


Lunch: Tortellini di fiesoli, lattice cut, french fries, cajun black beans,
spinach, corn,
wrap bar

Dinner: Veal parmesan, pasta, eggplant parmesan, greens and white beans saute,
italiano, broccoli, potato bar


1) Goldstein wins wing-eating contest

by Jeremy Schifeling
Gazette Section Editor

Randy Goldstein ’05 was crowned Swarthmore’s first-ever wing-eating champion in
last night’s
Sharples spiketravaganza.  Goldstein beat out 11 other competitors to earn the
title, eating
56 wings during the course of the evening.

The competition, billed as “The Glutton Bowl,” was put together by Spike, which
brought in
Bill “El Wingador” Simmons to MC the event.  Simmons, a three-time Wing Bowl
presided over the event with gusto and, well, size – Simmons stands 6’5″ and
weighs 280
pounds according to his website, which may even be a bit conservative.

Simmons, in fact, was the main impetus behind the Sharples showdown.  Spike
Christine Smallwood ’03 discovered “El Wingador” through his website and after
suggesting an
article on the Philadelphia-area resident, proposed that he host Swarthmore’s
very own
wing-eating contest.

And thus, “The Glutton Bowl” was born.

Onto this stage stepped 12 hungry competitors, each filled with a deep and
abiding lust for
poultry.  And before them sat dozens and dozens of plates, each filled with
wings.  Spicy
chicken wings.

As Simmons gave the contestants a brief pre-game pep-talk, you could see the
look of
gustatory desire in each student’s eyes – a look that would would turn to
sickened disgust
in just 10 minutes’ time.  But, with the ringing of the ceremonial gong, the
eaters had no
time to consider the nauseous fate which was awaiting them at the end of the
contest, and
promptly dug into their deep-fried feast.

It was a fierce and messy first-round, with the massive Sharples crowd hollering
for greater
and greater consumption.  As the round wore on, hot sauce spread everywhere and
physical and
psychological fatigue set in; competitors began glancing at their neighbors’
plates and
eating became a matter of willpower rather than impulse.

However, a few hearty souls stayed focused on the task and continued to munch
away at a
rapid pace.  Thus, as the round came to a close, three determined eaters were
chosen to move
on to the final round: Jared Leiderman ’05, Randy Goldstein ’05, and Feng He

After a 10-minute break, the competition resumed and once again, the audience
urged the
eaters to  continue their masochistic mastication.  This time though, the
competitors faced
an uphill battle as their minds started to come to terms with the plight of
their stomachs.

He, who was the smallest of the finalists, was the first to throw in the towel. 
Barely able
to lift another wing and being counseled by Simmons, he realized that his
first-round binge
had caught up to him.

However, He had few regrets. “Had I have any prior competitive-eating
experience, I probably
would have held back a bit [in the first round],” said the junior. “But it
turned out it was
a good thing that I didn’t do that because I just made it to the second round.
But I was so
full I really couldn’t eat any more by second round.”

Meanwhile, Leiderman was also running into a wall.  Despite the constant
motivation of a
large cheering section, the dose of reality provided by the intermission had
tempered his
previous wing-eating ferocity.

“What got me was the break, really,” said Leiderman afterwards.  “It gave time
for the first
round to settle and for my stomach to send messages to my brain.”

Thus, with his two competitors faltering, the contest was Goldstein’s to win. 
And win he
did as the frosh continued his steady devastation of the chicken population
throughout the
five-minute championship round.

So, when Simmons declared Goldstein the winner, after analyzing the remains on
participant’s plate using a 90% flesh-consumption rule, it was hardly a surprise
to the
crowd, who vigorously cheered their new champion.

Hoisting the Glutton Bowl trophy high into the air, Goldstein appeared shocked
by his

“I thought there was no way I was going to win,” Goldstein said following the
contest.  “I
was just hoping not to finish last.”

Goldstein attributed his success to pacing, endurance, and a helpful contingent
of fans.  “I
had a great cheering section, especially Dave Thomas ’02 who kept me posted on
competition and gave me constant encouragement,” said the victor.

In the end, the Spike editors were awed by the performance of the participants. 
“I was
impressed with the competitors – frankly, we didn’t expect anyone to eat more
than 50
wings,” said Jeanne Gardner ’02.  Fellow editor Alyssa Timin ’03 was also
impressed, in a disgusted sort of way.”

Additionally, the editors enjoyed working with Simmons.  As described by
Smallwood, the
“gentle giant” was a “really great, down-to-earth, wonderful man.”

“Everyone should support him if he participates in next year’s Wing Bowl,” said

So, with Swat’s first wing-eating contest in the history books, what’s next for

Leiderman vowed revenge, just as soon as he regains his appetite: “You know, I’m
not even
sure I’ll eat for a while.  I may even forgo my second dinner tonight.  Insofar
as the
wings, I’ll be back into practice soon enough.  I want that crown – Randy got
lucky this

And He, when asked about his plans to eat wings again, swore off the entire
species: “I
don’t know how long. Not just wings – I am through with any chicken product for
the near

Two out of the three Spike editors, it should be noted, do not each chicken
wings to begin
with.  When asked if last night’s event would change her mind, Gardner said, “I
have never
eaten chicken wings.  I hate chicken wings, and always have.”

And Goldstein, for his part, wanted to use his experience to encourage future
Swatties to
take the wing-eating challenge: “To those who want to step up to the next level
wing-eating, I say just go for it.  I almost decided against entering, which
obviously would
have been a big mistake.”

See a comprehensive slideshow of the Glutton Bowl online at

Visit Simmon’s website at

And look out for the upcoming issue of Spike, featuring an interview with El


2) Weekend roundup

by Pei Pei Liu
Gazette Section Editor

With classes ending today, the upcoming weekend is proving to be unusually
packed with
activities for students to have one last round of fun before finals begin. In
light of the
bombardment of reserved-students e-mails concerning the various events, the
Gazette is
consolidating the list by category for easy selection. Have fun this weekend,
and good luck
on exams!

“Strategic Alliances: Building a Campus-Community-Labor Coalition for Workplace
and Social
Justice” by John Braxton ’70 from Jobs with Justice in Philadelphia. Sponsored
by the
Swarthmore Living Wage and Democracy Campaign. Friday, 4:15 p.m. Kohlberg 115.

David Oleskar delivers the talk “The Middle East: Why the media got it
wrong…and are still
doing so.” Oleskar is the director of JCCAT (Jerusalem Center for Communications
Advocacy Training), a media and counter-propaganda specialist. Bagels will be
Sunday, 1:00 p.m. Scheuer Room.

The 10th Anniversary celebration of the Lang Performing Arts Center will be
hosted by actor
Stephen Lang ’73 and will feature dance, theatre, film, music, and poetry
performances by
current students and alum. A gala reception in the lobby will follow. Friday,
8:00 p.m.
Pearson-Hall Theatre.

The Swarthmore College Gospel Choir will be giving its annual spring
performance. All are
welcome, including family, friends, and children. Saturday, 4:00 p.m. Friends
Meeting House.

ellipsis … is an acoustic trio of Swarthmore alums (Joel Price ’00, Matt
Murphy ’01, and
Vale Jokisch ’01). Their instrumentation includes two acoustic guitars, violin,
acoustic bass, piano, and the voices of all three. The music of ellipsis is a
unique blend of folk and bluegrass music. It has been described on as the
following: “If Dave Matthews married Natalie Merchant, and their kid married all
3 members
of Guster, and then their kid married Eddie From Ohio and their kid beat up the
stepsister of Nickel Creek, that kid’s second cousin would be this group.” They
have put out
two albums that you can check out at their website, Come check out
this great band! Saturday, 8:30 p.m. Paces.

Worthstock 2002! Swarthmore’s annual music festival will feature a fantastic mix
of blues,
rock, folk, hip-hop, and jam from five great bands from across the east coast.
Free bbq food
to be served. Sponsored by WSRN and hosted by Ross Hoffman ’04. Saturday,
12:00-7:00 p.m.
Olde Club Courtyard (rain location inside). The schedule includes:
12:00-1:00 Sister Blue: gutsy, soulful acoustic blues from Philadelphia – she’s
don’t miss it; “Janis-Joplinish” [Philadelphia Inquirer]
1:15-2:00 Inflight Rock Band – Swarthmore’s up-and-coming art-pop saviors;
[Travis Morrison]
2:30-3:45 Jim’s Big Ego – witty rock/pop trio from Boston known for their
amusing live
performances, equally influenced by folk and funk; “Best Band for Geeks” [Boston
4:15-5:30 Infectious Organisms – 6-piece live hip-hop outfit from Richmond VA;
“richly organic” [CMJ], “contagious” [the Randolph Macon College Yellow Jacket]
6:00-7:00 Mayfly – funk/bluegrass/jazz/soul grooves from an all-star powerhouse
of Swatties
and Alumni, fleshed out to eight pieces, giving their farewell performance.

The annual Swarthmore A Cappella Jamboree will take place on Monday and Tuesday
nights at
7:00 p.m. in Lang Concert Hall.  The event feature’s the college’s a capellla
groups and is
being hosted by Grapevine.

Movie Night on the Beach is back this year with “Indiana Jones and the Last
starring Harrison Ford and Sean Connery, and “Shrek,” featuring the voices of
Mike Myers,
Cameron Diaz, and Eddie Murphy. Refreshments will be served, including cotton
popcorn, watermelon, and candy. Show up early to get a good spot on the lawn!
Friday, 8:00
p.m.-12:00 a.m. Parrish Beach (rain location: Tarble gym)

Film Studies 02 students will be screening three short films, “Centralia,” “The
and “As Yet Untitled.” They’re short and they’re interesting so come check them
out. Q&A
with the filmmakers will follow, and refreshments will be provided. Monday, 7:30
p.m. LPAC

The Folk Dance Club invites all to the last Contra Dance of the semester. No
experience or partner necessary; live music and free food provided. Remember,
dizzy people
don’t stress! For more information, contact Rachel at x5620. Saturday,
7:00-10:00 p.m. Upper

The choreographers and dancers of Dance Composition I are holding an informal
featuring original works by Dan Finkel ’02, Laurel Kean ’03, Kiran Rikhye ’02,
and Lynn
Trieu ’02, as well as a new dance by Pallabi Chakravorty, performed by the
students of
Kathak dance and accompanied with live table by Lenny Seidman. Original student
designs will also be presented, and the performance will be followed by a
discussion and
reception. Monday, 4:30 p.m. Troy Dance Lab.

Student Council is sponsoring the “Spring Fling” party featuring DJ Mark
Angelillo ’03.
Friday, 12:00-3:00 a.m. Olde Club.

Greg and Steve Holt ’05 are throwing a party of “good clean fun” with music,
food, and fun.
Saturday, 10:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m. Outside Mephistos.

Margaritaville 2K2: The annual end of year bash is back and better than ever.
Visit the DU
lodge for the last party of the school year. As always, “everyone gets lei’d.”
Come on down
the hill, it will be worth the trip! Saturday, barbecue 2:00-8:00 p.m., party
p.m.-2:00 a.m. Delta Upsilon Lodge.


3) Swarthmore police report

from the Swarthmore Police Department

* On 4/29/2002 Sergeant Stufflet was investigating a possible abandoned auto in
the 300
block of Park Avenue.  Investigation revealed the vehicle had been stolen in
Delaware.  The vehicle was towed from the scene and the Newark, Delaware police
attempting to contact the owner.


4) World news roundup

* A Palestinian policeman was killed in the violence that erupted when Israeli
forces raided
the West Bank city of Nablus early Friday morning “in order to prevent terror
attacks and
destroy the terror infrastructure,” according to an Israeli army statement.
Although Israel
withdrew from its major military offensive in April after heavy U.S. pressure,
the army has
recently resumed short raids against suspected Palestinian terrorist strongholds
in the West

* Father Paul Shanley, a Boston-based Roman Catholic priest accused of raping a
boy in a
suburban church three times in seven years, was arrested yesterday in San Diego.
The alleged
victim, now 24, reported that the assaults took place in St. Jean’s parish in
Newton, a
suburb of Boston, between 1983 and 1990. Shanley will face these criminal
charges separately
from the civil lawsuits already being levied against him by other alleged
victims. His is
the second major case of sexual abuse by a priest in the Boston archdiocese;
earlier this
year, John Geoghan was sentenced to nine to 10 years in prison for assaulting a
boy. The sex abuse scandals have brought Boston Cardinal Bernard Law and the
entire Catholic
Church under fire in recent months, with Pope John Paul II calling an
emergency meeting with the U.S. Cardinals last month in the Vatican to deal with

* Two students were killed yesterday at the University of Kentucky when they
crashed through
a glass window on the third floor of a dormitory and fell to the ground. Jeffrey
19, and Matthew Rzepka, 22, were apparently wrestling in the lobby of the Kirwan
dormitory when they struck the window, which shattered on impact. Pfetzer was a
student at
the school; Rzepka was a student at Western Kentucky University, visiting his
brother on
campus when the accident occurred.


5) Campus events


“Building Community – Labor Coalitions”
by John Braxton ’73, Jobs with Justice – Philadelphia
Kohlberg 115, 4:15 p.m.

Shabbat Services and Dinner
Bond Memorial Hall, 5:30 p.m.

Anime Club Showing
Kohlberg 330, 7:00 p.m.

Swarthmore Christian Fellowship Meeting
Kohlberg 115, 7:30 p.m.

Film Showing: “Ali”
Kirby Lecture Hall – Martin, 7:30 & 10:00 p.m.

International Club Movie Night
Kohlberg 116, 8:00 p.m.

SC Movie Night: “Shrek” & “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”
Parrish Beach, 8:00 p.m.

10th Anniversary LPAC Gala Celebration
Pearson-Hall Theatre – LPAC, 8:00 p.m.

Dance Party
Upper Tarble, 10:00 p.m.

End of Classes Party
Olde Club, 12:00 a.m.


Olde Club Courtyard, 12:00 p.m.

Margaritaville BBQ
Delta Upsilon, 2:00 p.m.

Baroque Ensemble Student Recital
with Molly Ayn Jones, Recorder, and Johanna Braff, Bassoon
Bond Memorial Hall, 2:30 p.m.

Swarthmore College Gospel Choir
Friends Meeting House, 4:00 p.m.

Contra Dance
Upper Tarble, 7:00 p.m.

Film Showing: “Ali”
LPAC Cinema, 7:30 & 10:00 p.m.

Chamber Music Recital by the Midnight Quintet
Lang Concert Hall, 8:00 p.m.

ellipsis … Performance
PACES, 8:30 p.m.

Good Clean Fun Party
Outside Mephistos, 10:00 p.m.

Margaritaville Party
Delta Upsilon, 10:00 p.m.


Celebration of Mass
Bond Memorial Hall, 11:00 a.m.

“The Middle East: Why the media got it wrong…and are still doing so”
by David Oleskar
Scheuer Room – Kohlberg, 1:00 p.m.

All-Campus Sing Along
Led by Annie Patterson and Peter Blood, Editors of “Rise Up Singing”
Friends Meeting House, 7:30 p.m.

David Szepessy, cello, and Marcantonio Barone, piano
Lang Concert Hall, 7:30 p.m.

Higher Ground Meeting
Kohlberg 115, 9:00 p.m.

SCHLOCK Film Showing
Kirby Lecture Hall – Martin, 10:00 p.m.


6) Correction

Yesterday’s article on the fascist counterrevolution incorrectly implied that
Matt Rubin ’03
and David Berger ’04 were the sole creators of the demonstration plan.  In fact,
Finley ’03, a member of the Fascist Europe class, also conceived of the idea
of Rubin and Berger.  The Gazette apologizes for the mistake.



1) World sports roundup

* For only the second time since their franchise entered the NBA in 1976-77, the
New Jersey
Nets have advanced to the second round of the playoffs after defeating the
Pacers 120-109 in
a riveting Game 5 which stretched into two overtimes. Indiana’s Reggie Miller
did his best
to derail the Nets’ bid to advance, tying the game at 96 at the end of
regulation with a
35-foot three-pointer at the buzzer and tying it again with a two-handed dunk
with 3.1
seconds remaining in the first overtime. But the Nets’ Jason Kidd scored 20 of
his career
playoff-best 31 points in the fourth quarter and the overtimes and enabled New
Jersey to
come out on top in only the third series-deciding game in NBA history to go to
double-overtime. The Nets now move on to a best-of-seven series against the
Hornets. Meanwhile, the Detroit Pistons edged out the Toronto Raptors 85-82 in
Game 5 of
their series to advance to the second playoff round for the first time since
1991. Detroit
will play the winner of the Boston-Philadelphia series, with Game 1 set for

* Detroit Red Wings goaltender Dominik Hasek recorded 23 saves in his seventh
career playoff
shutout as the Wings took the first game in their Western Conference semifinal
series with
the St. Louis Blues by a score of 2-0. Three players from each team received
misconduct penalties when a last-minute brawl broke out after St. Louis’ Keith
bumped Hasek. The second game in the best-of-seven series will take place on
Saturday in
Detroit. In the first game of the Eastern Conference semifinals, Ottawa
Senators’ Patrick
Lalime became only the 14th goalie in NHL history to notch four shutouts in the
postseason. Following his three shutouts of Philadelphia in the first round, he
stopped 27
shots against the Toronto Maple Leafs to lead his team to a 5-0 Game 1 win. The
victory also
ended Ottawa’s six-game losing streak against the Leafs and marked their first
win in
Toronto in six postseason visits.

* Seattle Mariners outfielder Mike Cameron hit four solo home runs in the first
five innings
of Seattle’s 15-4 rout of the Chicago White Sox yesterday, tying a Major League
record and
becoming only the 13th player in the league’s 100-plus-year history to hit four
homers in a
single game. The last person to accomplish the feat was Mark Whiten on September
7, 1993,
who did it in the second game of a double-header for the St. Louis Cardinals.
Cameron also
added his name to the history books by joining with Bret Boone as the first
teammates ever
to hit back-to-back homers twice in the same inning. They each went deep twice
during a
ten-run first inning, and Cameron hit his next two shots in his next two at-bats
in the
third and fifth. Before last night’s game, Cameron had just five home runs in 91
at-bats and
was known primarily as a defensive outfielder.


2) This weekend’s contests

Track and field at CC Championships at Ursinus, 2:00 p.m.

Track and field at CC Championships, 8:30 a.m.

Track and field at CC Championships, 8:30 a.m.



“The future will be better tomorrow.”
–Dan Quayle

Interested in reporting or writing for the Gazette?
Got a news or sports tip for us?
Just want to tell us what you think?

Contact the staff at

Section Editors:  Karla Gilbride
                          Pei Pei Liu
                          Jeremy Schifeling
Online Editor:     David Bing
Weathercaster:   Jeremy Schifeling
News Reporters: Mary Harrison
                          Evelyn Khoo
                          Sanggee Kim
                          Natacha Pascal
                          Kent Qian
                          Alexis Reedy
                          Chiara Ricciardone
Sportswriters:     Muhsin Abdur-Rahman
                          Shavaugn Lewis
                          Pat Quinn
Photographer:    Casey Reed
World News:     Pei Pei Liu
Campus and
World Sports:    Karla Gilbride

The Daily Gazette is published Monday through Friday by an independent
group of Swarthmore College students. The Daily Gazette Web Site is updated
regularly, as news happens. Technical support from the Swarthmore College
Computer Society is gratefully acknowledged.

Our world news roundup is compiled daily, using a variety of sources, most
notably the Associated Press (,
Reuters (, CNN
(, and The New York Times (
Our world sports
roundup is derived mostly from ESPN (

To subscribe to the Gazette, free of charge, or to cancel a subscription,
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This concludes today’s report.

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