What do you think Maryland’s state sport is? If your first instinct was to say lacrosse, you’d be half wrong. Maryland designated jousting as the official sport of the state in 1962. Lacrosse wasn’t made the official state team sport until 2004. The Terps and the Blue Jays really have nothing on the knights of the Maryland Renaissance Festival. Last month, I saw this for myself.
The Nor’easter
Admittedly, the conditions were far from ideal. My resident fantasy nerd friend, Avery, and I had been on the waitlist for tickets until a few days before we were supposed to go. Sadly enough, it seems that we got off of the waitlist largely because the weekend we had chosen just so happened to be the weekend of the nor’easter. The scarcity of tickets was more daunting than the weather, though, so we left bright and early on Sunday, Sept. 27, for Annapolis, MD. The rain didn’t seem to have kept many people home, as we waded through already trodden mud in the field that served as the parking lot.
The Lore
The faire revolves around a storyline set in 1540, in the court of Henry VIII. This fact didn’t stop attendees from dressing up in Revolutionary War garb, or actors from performing scenes from Macbeth, which debuted around 1606. I would also like to know how many pride flags were flying in Tudor England. The answer, per the faire, is a lot.
The Controversy
The reason I bring up the historical accuracy of the event is because this year’s Maryland Renaissance Festival has been the subject of quite the social media controversy. Why? Because they banned furries. Well, technically, they banned fursuits, citing complaints from non-furry patrons of the Festival who said it “detract[ed] from the renaissance theme” and who found fursuits to be non-family-friendly.
The furry community most certainly had their hackles up over the ban, arguing that the subculture is countercultural, that the ban is discriminatory, and that humans dressing up as various other mammals is actually accurate to the time period in which the festival is set.
Despite the ban on full fursuits, there were plenty of animal ears and tails around, and I really do mean plenty. I do think that arguments against the presence of furries for historical accuracy are silly given the presence of many people imitating fairies, elves, and other mythical creatures. However, given the torrential downpour that was happening for the majority of the day, I was glad to be spared of the potential wet-dog odor that might have otherwise overtaken the festival.
The Congregation
This particular weekend was Celtic themed, so there were kilts aplenty. There were a good number of families in attendance whose children looked much less enthused to be there than their millennial parents. The craft prices left some of those aforementioned parents asking their children if they would rather have that flower crown or be able to afford to go to college. There was one smoking section situated right next to the children’s playground and a huge slide (which was sadly closed due to the weather).
The mead was flowing, too, even when we arrived at barely ten in the morning. There was no cell service, which felt about right. Who needs to scroll when you can watch a gaggle of fourteen-year-old boys fail at the “drench-a-wench” dunk tank ten times in a row?
The Melissa
A friend of mine, Melissa, has been to the Festival a few times in much finer conditions than the weekend I went. She said of the lore and the joust: “they really keep you hooked by adding a plot, so then you want to stay to see the next bits.” The year she went, a princess and prince were involved, and somebody got shot (“I was like, ‘did they even have guns back then? I don’t know!’”)
The next year, though, the plot was exactly the same and so was everything else, so she didn’t stay long. Her best memory was of a juggler who choked on a bite of the apple he was juggling and spat a chunk of it to her feet: “It was the hardest I’ve ever had to try not to laugh in my whole life.”
The Joust
Unlike Melissa, I was unfortunately deprived of a proper joust due to the adverse weather. Far be it from me to encourage the endangerment of animals, but it seems worthwhile to mention that most horses can handle a bit of mud. In lieu of a joust, we had the pleasure of watching the squires piggybacking each other, all while their knights looked on solemnly from a sheltered area. This alternative wasn’t too much safer, though, as one of the squires ate shit (and mud) during one of the competitions.
The Food
Essentially all of the food came on a stick, including a peanut butter pie and a “chicken drum” that was in fact just an ill-seasoned chicken breast on a skewer. The turkey leg ($14, not too bad!) was the highlight of the food scene, as were the funnel cake fries. We passed on the half-shell oysters, which were less than a dollar apiece. That just seems too cheap for raw seafood, even in Maryland.
The Verdict
My one critique of the jousting is that you can’t bet on it on DraftKings. Yet. Otherwise, put me in, coach.
