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Columns/Opinions/Satire

Students haunted by their future selves for taking five credits

With few days left of the Add/Drop period, students have reported odd hallucinations to the Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS), claiming to see an enraged, worn-out identical to themselves in appearance and claiming to be from the future, in apparent anger and distress. Coincidentally, the victims of these hallucinations are all currently registered to take… Keep Reading

Columns/Opinions

The insecurity of a dark campus

As days grow shorter and night time fills more of the days, I notice how underlit campus is. Walking between dorms and libraries, I often find myself speeding to the next street lamp without much light to accompany me. Even at the end of my first semester at Swarthmore, I recognize there is a discomfort… Keep Reading

Columns/Opinions

The end

The end is nigh. Recently, I have been thinking about the end a lot as we approach the end of the semester, the end of classes, and the end of Obama’s presidency. Time itself seems to be shrinking.    These past eight years have been pretty momentous in terms of the amount of social change… Keep Reading

Columns/Opinions

Swarthmore forces students to take cold showers

As part of the overall goal to prepare students for the real world, the Swarthmore’s Facilities Department, with the approval of the administration, decided to limit the availability of hot water usage for showers and sinks in dormitory restrooms. According to Elsa Frost, head of the Facilities Department, this is not only an economic advantage… Keep Reading

Columns/Opinions

Women, where do we go from here?

As I paced between rooms on the third floor of Trotter, I sensed the rising tide of uncertainty. The New York Times had just altered their forecast; only an hour ago, Secretary Clinton had a 93 percent chance of victory, but over the course of a few minutes, the prediction had dramatically shifted, now forecasting… Keep Reading

Columns/Opinions/Satire

Anti-Trump supporters start colony in Antarctica

Feeling absolutely disgusted and worn out over the results of the presidential election on Nov. 8, several Hillary Clinton supporters started a new nation in Antarctica to avoid having to live under the reign of President-elect Donald Trump. This move, initiated by Hollis LeMise, former resident of Ohio, has, at the time of writing, already… Keep Reading

Columns/Opinions

The admissions mistake

Since I’ve gotten to Swarthmore, the idea of the so-called “admissions mistake” has never been far from mind. From the Orientation Play in September, which had a plot centered around finding such a mistake until realizing that the mistake was the judgmental college official, to the Celebration of Failure happening this Friday, the concept has… Keep Reading

Columns/Opinions

To love and be loved

Every fiber of my being wishes that I were not writing this right now. I was planning on publishing a quasi-satirical piece in my column this week about why some people should not vote. Instead, I am now sitting in an Old City coffee shop wondering what the fuck happened and where the fuck to… Keep Reading

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