Feeling absolutely disgusted and worn out over the results of the presidential election on Nov. 8, several Hillary Clinton supporters started a new nation in Antarctica to avoid having to live under the reign of President-elect Donald Trump. This move, initiated by Hollis LeMise, former resident of Ohio, has, at the time of writing, already garnered 200,000 supporters, with 4,000 already moving into the new colony.
“I come from Ohio, a state that technically was a game-changer on election night,” LeMise said. “I’ve been grappling over the fact that I live with a bunch of Trump supporters around my neighborhood, and I decided that I just can’t stand it anymore. Frankly, I’d rather go live with penguins than live with Trump supporters. I want to apologize to the people of the United States and allies around the world for the mess that my stupid state has helped create for all of us. I am creating this colony to do my part in providing an alternative life for those of us who were sensible enough to vote against our President-elect.”
According to Jackson Burushito, LeMise’s partner in the initiative, the new nation, loosely called the Untied State of America, will ensure a shelter for everyone interested in running away from the U.S. Each igloo will feature basic furniture and heating facilities to keep residents warm. The ice blocks that make up the igloo will be coated, so that the heat will not melt the house down. If the resident wishes, he or she will also be provided a therapy penguin to appease the resulting shock from Donald Trump’s victory.
“Hollis and I want to provide a space for our fellow citizens to run away from the reality and come back when things are better,” Burushito said. “We want all Americans to understand that Antarctica will be a place of mental freedom and relief, and will allow citizens to have some therapeutic time to smoothly register the fact that our nation has elected a complete buffoon to lead this country.”
The initiative quickly went viral, garnering the attention of many all over the world, including various world leaders. A spokesperson for Erna Solberg, Prime Minister of Norway, applauded the efforts of LeMise and Burushito, and offered to help them create a colony that could follow a model of government similar to that of Norway. A spokesperson for Guoni Thorlacius Johannesson, President of Iceland, expressed similar sentiments. The most impassioned statement, however, came from the spokesperson for Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada.
“I hope Americans realize that Canada is not a simple go-to country that people can just simply run away to because of an election,” the spokesperson said. “We are not your counselors who will listen to your own set of problems just because you think we don’t have any. We are starting to empathize with Mr. Trump’s fascination with a huge wall because we are about to think of building one of our own along our southern border. We applaud Ms. LeMise and Mr. Burushito for their efforts in taking the matter on their own hands instead of bringing a poor country that happens to share a border with America into this mess.”
LeMise and Burushito are currently expanding the project to cater to every American interested in moving to Antarctica. They project that roughly a quarter of the U.S. will follow through with the project and participate.
“I am a stalwart advocate of the principle that the best thing to do when you’re under a tremendous amount of stress is to simply run away and never come back—or come back after a long time,” LeMise said. “Through this project, we are making it easy for everyone who is interested to run away from problems and come back whenever they feel like it.”
Disclaimer: This article was written purely with a satirical purpose. The information presented in this article is thus false and completely untrue.