BY ALEX ISRAEL

In print | Published February 12, 2009 — Updated February 19, 2009 00:18

In the last installment of my column (which I sincerely hope that my loyal readers, unlike my so-called “friend” Emilia Thurber, read during the last TWO WEEKS), I promised that my discussion this week would center on the late, great “Arrested Development.” And it will, even though all sorts of exciting things have happened on television since then, including Dan Humphrey getting it on with his teacher on “Gossip Girl” (an event with which I am inordinately fascinated) and the fifth season premiere of “Lost,” which will most definitely be addressed later in the semester. So hold on to your time-jumping hats and pull your hands out of the reach of man-hungry seals, because we’re going to talk “Arrested.”

For everyone who understood the seal reference in the previous sentence (the time-jumping thing referred to “Lost”), congratulations! You — all twenty of you — make up about 90 percent of the total audience that tuned into “Arrested” during its tragically truncated run. This show never managed to find much of an audience for its special brand of family dysfunction and carefully choreographed insanity, despite winning an Emmy for Best Comedy and being critically adored. (Even The New Yorker’s Nancy Franklin liked it, and I’m certain that she actually hates television).

Despite never having an audience, “Arrested” stands as one of the funniest shows ever filmed (I would rank only “The Simpsons” and “Seinfeld” on the same tier). The action, for those of you who missed out, centers on the Bluth Family, specifically Michael Bluth (Jason Bateman), the family’s middle son, who is the only sane person in the family, as well as the father of the uber-dorky George Michael Bluth (Michel Cera, in the role that made him into the hipster heartthrob he is today). These two characters form the epicenter of the family and the force that ultimately keeps them all together.
The show’s plot is set in motion in the first episode, when patriarch George Sr. (Jeffrey Tambor) is arrested for embezzling money from the Bluth Company, of which he was the CEO. His arrest leaves his family broke and scrambling to save the company name. Well, actually, Michael is the only one trying to save anything; the rest of his family is too busy trying to preserve their own lifestyles to be of much help.

“Arrested” was the home of one of the best ensemble casts on television, and the family is the nucleus. Portia de Rossi is appropriately selfish as Michael’s twin (?) sister (??) Lindsay Bluth-Fünke, while David Cross is wonderfully self-delusional as her husband Tobias, a former psychologist who is now trying to make his way as an actor. (He’s terrible). Michael’s older brother, Gob (pronounced “jobe,” short for George Oscar Bluth II, and played by Mr. Amy Poehler himself, Will Arnett) is a hilariously failed magician, while younger brother Buster (Tony Hale) is an emotionally stunted perpetual grad student who still lives with his mother.

Ah yes, his mother. As embodied by the sublime Jessica Walters, Lucille Bluth is as cold as a perfectly chilled vodka martini (which she downs by the bucketful) and has some of the best line deliveries on the show. Watching her articulate the words “I don’t care for Gob,” is akin to watching the iceberg burst into the hull of the Titanic, except colder and more painful. And when Lucille enters into a drinking contest with Kitty (Judy Greer), George Sr.’s disgruntled former secretary and mistress, Walters is wonderful beyond belief; the way that she utters the words, “I have to go back to rehab” after drinking Kitty into the ground is unmatched.

Kitty brings me to another point; the cast of eccentric supporting characters is just as great as the Bluth family. From Greer’s boob-flashing secretary to Henry Winkler’s incompetent lawyer, every casting choice is perfect. Even celebrity appearances are organically integrated into the show: when Charlize Theron showed up as British beauty Rita, the show reached a new level of goofiness without breaking a sweat.

Unfortunately, the show was cancelled soon after Theron’s storyline concluded. After three years of not attracting viewers, Fox finally pulled the plug on “Arrested” (though not on Buster, who spent much of the third season in a fake coma to avoid testifying at his father’s trial). Unlike the finales of other lauded shows (I’m looking at you, “Seinfeld”), “Arrested” went out on the same level of wonderful dysfunction on which it entered, leaving fans to follow every speculation of the possibility of an “Arrested” movie with obsessive focus.

I’ve spent a lot of time speculating over why “Arrested” never managed to find an audience. Maybe it was the sight of George-Michael making out with his cousin (?), Maeby Fünke (Alia Shawkat), or maybe it was the knowledge that Tobias was a “never-nude” (it’s exactly what it sounds like), but the show drove viewers away in … well, droves. My personal opinion, however, is that the show was too fast, too smart, too off-the-wall for the kinds of viewers who want their television mind-numbing rather than stimulating. So long, Bluth family, flesh-eating seals and deadly hair transplants; I guess that now we just have to wait for the movie.

Alex is a sophomore. She can be reached at aisrael1@swarthmore.edu.

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