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BY KEVIN FRIEDENBERG

In print | Published February 7, 2008

Ever have one of your buddies ask you what your school’s mascot is? What do you tell them? The Garnet Tide? The Phoenix? Does anyone ever think about the potential implications of Swarthmore having these two monikers? Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of pride in being a Garnet, and defend its honor in front of nay-sayers like how classics majors would defend their choice.

As someone who pays keen attention to the mascots and names of other colleges and universities around the nation, I realize that our mascot and team name is not so bad. Dare I say that “Garnet Tide” is an understated yet classy name that shows the true attitude of our institution as well as its student-athletes? I mean it could be worse; judging by the names and mascots of some of the other schools out there, I would have a hard time battling someone upon the merits of being called the Molemen, or the Pansies (a real high school mascot). The following schools make my top five list for having the most badass mascots in all the land:

5. Wichita State Shockers – This mascot garnered my attention a few years back when I thought that it was a guy with a beehive on his head. Upon closer inspection I realized that it was just a hostile looking guy with wheat sticking out of his hair and mouth and sporting a throwback “WSU” sweater.

4. Southern Illinois Salukis – Admit it, this name is just fun to say, Salukis (Sa-Lu-Kees). A saluki looks like some kind of dog with floppy shaggy ears. Though Southern Illinois may not strike fear into the hearts of its opponents with their logos, if you don’t think that a name like the Salukis sounds badass then you just don’t know right from wrong my friend.

3. UC Santa Barbara Gauchos – Though I have never really heard of anything pertaining to the University of California at Santa Barbara besides the fact that their club lacrosse team is pretty decent, I pick this team as my third place finisher because of their logo. A pair of sinister looking eyes peering out from under a black ten-gallon hat, with the word “Gauchos” in front. I’m not even sure what a gaucho actually is but it sounds way to awesome not to acknowledge.

2. Louisiana – Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns – I loved this university for no other reason than their mascot and logo. A red chili pepper on fire, that is too cool. Besides I love to hear an announcer on TV say anything that involves the phrase “Ragin’ Cajuns.” I have such a special place in my heart for this team that I once picked them to go all the way in my final four bracket. I would have been better off burning the money for heat.

1. Coastal Carolina Chanticleers – This without a doubt is my favorite mascot to date. Never mind that their baseball team is pretty diesel, any team whose logo is a turquoise juiced up rooster with a gold Mohawk deserves my respect. Besides when was the last time you heard somebody say the word chanticleer? The Canterbury Tales?

This column wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t at least acknowledge those schools that I would transfer from on basis of athletic mascots alone, I mean really I just would never wear anything that had my school mascot on it if I went to any of these.

5. St. Bonaventure Bonnies – Real original.

4. John Carroll Blue Streak – Negative logo eequals negative fun.

3. Campbell Fighting Camels – Could’ve made my top five, but a camel? Really?

2. University of Nebraska at Kearney Lopers – Are you an antelope or do you just move in a relaxed fashion? I’m confused.

1. UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs – Not badass, not charming, susceptible to salt.

I still think that summer club lacrosse teams have the most ballin’ mascots ever: The Jammin’ Salmon (fish playing a guitar), Team Ankle Breakers (skull over crossed crutches), The Crease Monkeys and of course The Benchwarmers (man sitting on bench with a lacrosse stick in one hand and a beer in the other). If you know of any team out there that can compete with that please let me know, as I am always looking for hilarious new mascots.

Kevin is a sophomore. You can reach him at kfriede1@swarthmore.edu.

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