BY MARYANNE TOMAZIC

In print | Published March 22, 2007

Meet 19-year-old Rechel from Tacloban City in the Philippines. Her dimensions are 33-23-35 and she is not a smoker or drinker. She is a bit shy, has long hair; she is slim and she knows how to cook. If you don’t like her profile, feel free to look at the other hundreds of Asian teenagers online for wife-seeking Americans or at the other 20,000 profiles on http://loveme.com.

Web sites like http://loveme.com serve to cater to those interested in purchasing a “Stepford” housewife. These are usually American men who go on “love tours” to third world countries to pick out their ideal girls — girls often very young and with limited English skills and education. When asked why they pay for “love tours”, these men have replied that dating is too time-consuming; that women have become too educated and driven; and that your Western woman is simply too difficult to deal with. Many young American women do not want to start families, and more and more when they are older they cannot start families because men their age have looked elsewhere. Women from abroad, especially those from http://loveme.com, come from countries where their roles as women are traditionally defined and restrictive. They are taught to be dedicated to their homes and to their families above all; thus, they seek the stability and domesticity offered them by a wealthy husband. These are the wives the consumerist husband is looking for: the wives who are willing to hand over their freedom to their new husbands, to be obedient and easily satisfied without growing distracted by the possibility and opportunity which surrounds them.

I try to stay open-minded. It might not be for me to judge this growing trend to be despicable. Love is hard in the modern era. However, there is nothing to justify using one’s money and status to handpick a wife from a foreign country. Alongside the physical danger to these foreign women and others (59.5 percent of all immigrant wives are abused), American women are also hurt by the practice. Men that would rather buy a wife take heed: American women today don’t always follow the 1950s image. We have tattoos and piercings, we want to be doctors and lawyers, we dye our hair, cut it off, promote our sexuality. We have been given the opportunity to express ourselves. We’ve become independent individuals but can be wives, too.

It may take extra effort to woo us or a little extra time to help us rear the kids, but marriage and family can still work. Maybe America is too romantic, maybe I’m too idealistic, but I’d like to think that there is still some hope for the unique woman. Furthermore, I also hope that foreign women will not consent to being mere products of “love tours” but rather view themselves as worthy of a partner’s time, investment and love.

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