BY MATT SCHILLER

In print | Published January 27, 2005

As much as I’d have liked to stay in my spacious, warm room and watch Boomer Esiason tell Dan Marino what a horrendous failure his career was while Marino’s head explodes, I managed to get my hands on an extra ticket to the Eagles game this weekend thanks to my good friend Phil. So here’s the play-by-play (my apologies to Joe Buck and the Fox crew if it doesn’t live up to the ethical standards set by “Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy”).

Pre-game: It’s supposed to be a tad cold, so I take out every article of clothing I own and see how many I can wear without looking too much like that guy in the Citi commercial who needs a new suitcase. After twenty minutes, I emerge in three shirts, two jackets, two pairs of pants, a hat, gloves and a headband. On the bright side, if Philly fans catch on to the fact that I’m not really an Eagles fan, I’ll just curl up into a ball and roll with the punches. I step outside, don’t feel that cold, and take my hat off. Thirty seconds later, my damp hair freezes into icicles. I decide that maybe it’s a little chilly after all.

After miraculously surviving the snow and SEPTA, we arrive outside the Linc. But first, we have to go through security. Any time thousands of people are going to be crammed into a small space and alcohol is going to be prominently involved, these checkpoints seem to be a good idea. However, the only patdown I get is a quick tap on the back of my head and neck. Granted, it’s tough to check everyone thoroughly, but it’d have been nice if they’d looked anywhere other than the one place I absolutely couldn’t have hidden a small knife or, given my attire and Philly’s reputation, half the city’s supply of D batteries.

First Half: The Eagles’ defense stops Atlanta’s offense from going anywhere on their first two drives and Donovan McNabb goes to work. After a big run by Brian Westbrook, Dorsey Levens punches in the first score of the game. A guy in the row ahead of me pulls his six shirts over his head and starts jumping up and down in all his topless glory.

Another ten minutes pass, and the Eagles cap off another march down the field with a great catch by Chad Lewis. It’s 14-3 and another guy in the row ahead of me is stripping down. Things could get real ugly if the Falcons’ defense doesn’t step it up. (Let me remind you that all those cheesesteaks Philly fans eat have to go somewhere.) Also, it’s freezing. Believe it or not, just sitting in negative temperatures can make you really, really cold. I wish I’d worn about 673 more layers.

Meanwhile, Brian Dawkins stands at midfield, doing his best Usher imitation to the Eagles fight song. Half the fun of going to games is watching these guys on the sidelines. Freddie Mitchell runs up and down the sidelines, showing off his new fro-hawk to every coach he can find (if only he ran his pass routes with this much enthusiasm).

Second Half: My feet are frozen. I’m not even sure if I still have toes. Philly opens the half with a field goal and stretches the lead. The guys in front of me thankfully keep their clothes on for a change. The Falcons’ offense begins to self-destruct. Mike Vick throws a terrible interception inside his own 20. In celebration, Helmet Man runs up and down the stadium aisles. I wonder exactly what a man who believes it’s a good idea to wear a helmet twelve hours a day is actually using it to protect.

It’s 20-10 and things are looking bleak for Atlanta as T.O. starts dancing to Snoop on the Philly bench. At the same time, some nutcase jumps out of the crowd (wearing an Owens jersey, of course) and does his own dance at midfield. The security guard chasing him actually speeds up as he gets closer before launching himself into the guy. Ray Lewis couldn’t have hit him that hard. Best moment of the game, hands down.

The Eagles add a TD for insurance and kill the clock. Ball game. Owner Jeffrey Lurie accepts the NFC Championship trophy and praises the fans as being the most intelligent in the NFL. I reflect on that statement as drunken Eagles fans chant, “E-G-A-L-S! EAGLES!”

I love this game.

Matt Schiller is a sophomore. You can reach him at mschill1@swarthmore.edu

« RETURN TO SPORTS

« PREV ARTICLE | NEXT ARTICLE »