BY EMILY GASSER

In print | Published September 25, 2003

If you’re planning on visiting Philadelphia, make sure you have one of three things with you: a map, some idea of where you want to go and how to get there, or, failing that, at least a healthy sense of adventure. Even if you have no idea where you are or where you’re going, it’s surprisingly hard to get really and truly lost; Philly is an extraordinarily well-labeled city. Case in point:

About two weeks ago, a friend of mine from upstate New York came to visit for the weekend. We decided to head into town to see the Jazz and Poetry Festival taking place in the general vicinity of the Museum of Art. I’d been into Philly exactly once before, and this was Ryan’s first-ever visit. Of course, neither of us had thought to bring a map. “It’s a big museum,” we thought. “How hard could it be?”

Well. The conductor on the train told us to get off at Suburban Station. Lesson one: Train conductors are really nice and know what they’re talking about. Use them.

We disembarked at our stop and looked around. No museum. But, lo and behold, there were signs on all the corners, giving directions to every possible tourist attraction in the area. Lesson two: Watch for signs. They’re there.

After a good 20 minutes of walking, backtracking and an awful lot of stair-climbing, we made it to the museum. The jazz festival, however, was nowhere to be seen. Damn. The point of this issue is cheap things to do, and museums are definitely not cheap. So we moved on.

“If we can’t see the museum, let’s go see the Liberty Bell! Look, there’s a sign. It must be nearby, right?” Naïve tourists that we were, we retraced our steps back toward the center of town and followed the arrows towards the Liberty Bell. And followed them. And followed them. Lesson three: The signs tell you that an attraction is “that way”. They do not tell you how far that way. Beware.

Many, many blocks later, we arrived at the Liberty Visitors’ Center. We got on the line advertising free tickets to Liberty Hall — just in time for them to run out of tickets and close for the day. Lesson four: Liberty Hall is great. Get there early.

Still, there was the bell, which had a line reaching completely around the block. Lesson Five: It’s a bell with a crack down the side. Get over it.

So hungry, footsore and utterly exhausted, we trudged back to the visitors’ center with one thought in our minds: “Where’s the nearest train station?” Lesson six: Like train conductors, the people who work in visitors’ centers are underappreciated resources. Once again, use them.

Quite a few more blocks and 45 minutes later, we were finally back on campus. It might not have been the most exciting trip ever, but, hey, it was cheap.

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